The thaw. It's the best thing I can think of to describe when he came back into my life. The crisp biting wind and the freezing cold snow began to melt, and the sun peeked through the sky again, saying hello to all of us, busy living our lives. After collapsing down onto the hard ground, my limbs limp and weak, covered in the snow that fell atop me from the silver sky, he walked over, with no expression, uncovered me, took my hand, and gave me the strength to stand up, taller than before. That was his power. The power to heal my torment. The power to thaw.
Months after I had thought I lost my chance to pull him close and let him in to my world, and feel safe in his arms; he came running back to me. We lept off the ground together and went somewhere far away for a little while, somewhere sacred, and sweet. He didn't need to apologize for not noticing me. I was used to that. Used to not being seen. But when his perfect eyes suddenly locked onto mind, I was just lost in his gaze, and I loved being lost there, in that moment, in that sacred world. Our world, that nobody had ever stepped foot into. I was suddenly brought into view, for everyone to see. Nobody had tainted the perfectly green grass, the illuminating blue sky, or the way his hand felt in mine. He was there as my friend, but it didn't take long for him to look at me the way I had always wanted. With love. With longing. With all of his pure heart. With the stars in his eyes.
He began to see the hidden things behind my eyes, whether they be demons or wishes, and confided in me. Telling me all the darkness's that his beauty has had to see, and feel, at the hands of others. The hands of our enemies, the ones that needed not to be seen, or heard of, ever again. Lightning striked in that part of his life. It all crashed down on him, and turned him into whom I had to save. Helpless and dwelling. I had to be the hero, too. I couldn't believe that he, who I had held so high on a pedestal, had been through the treacherous things he had. The things he clearly didn't deserve. Those enemies would never be allowed in our world, and I wanted so badly to make him forget, to make it go away. Clear the slate and make him feel like there's nothing to fear. Not in this world, or any other, as long as I'm with him. I just wanted to hold his hand and melt the rough edges of life away. Slow things down so he could see the earth for what it truly was in my eyes, beautiful. See what he was in my eyes, a perfect, un-crafted, bruised human being.
I slowly dragged my feet off the dusty ground and reached out for him. This time, when I called, and wished, he was there. We didn't know it would turn out to be like this, but we took a chance. That was the very beginning. After we shed the skin of friendship and moved along, becoming one person. Molding together and fighting the world together as a team, hand in hand. Eyes locked in a longing gaze. Words that are simple but meant so much. Hero to hero.
I confessed every word I had wanted to say so long ago. All the things I had locked in the forest of my mind. It took time to let it all out of my system, of course. I needed to walk through that forest once again and remember the texture of each of the trees, the feel of the dirt and grass on my bare feet, the warmth of the rising sun, before telling him everything I wished for when we were only across the room from each other. Life when he was first with me, felt unrealistically good, and I almost felt like someone should have shook me and brought me into cruel reality. But nobody ever did. It was all true. I was finally living the life I had always wanted. With the hero I had always wanted. The hand I had always wanted to hold.
So there it is, when we began. You already know the story, of course. You're where it all began. You're my world, and if you didn't know that before, surely you do now. There is no escaping the grasp you have on me. Not that I'd ever want to escape it. Now, when I move, you're moving with me. When I breathe, you're breathing with me. When my heart beats, as does yours. When your life ends, so will mine. At least, life as I know it will.
