some random story thing I update when I'm bored

Flapaderpiosis

BEOURGUEST

A month without uploading he comes back with a tag (whoo)

That no one even tagged him he's not a challenge to drag (ouch)

So prepare for an attack and by that I mean cringe (cringe)

Cause this motherLEMON's 'bout to get dragged by his fringe

First things first, you're freakishly

 tall it's weird you look like a noodle (true)

You've got hair that was cool in 2007 and wet you just look like a poodle (hobbit)

Throw in a really annoying posh voice and, yup,

 that's Dan (posh)

You're what would happen if Winnie the Pooh LEMONed Slenderman

You procrastinate making videos,

 cause being judged is scary? (ooh)

You're so close to being forgotten,

 the hate's imaginary (whoa)

The only reason you get views is you're another white guy
That people ship with his friend

 cause they think it's kawaii

Oh

Reasons why Dan's a fail (Yay!)

I'll give you some

You never tweet, you overeat, all you do is cry and sleep
Your jokes are LEMONposts and memes with no originality (uh huh)
Your family's sad you flopped your law degree at university
And anything embarrassing that's from your past you just delete

You were vegan for like three weeks, then what, you missed the meat? (milk)
Wow, I'm so impressed by your clear moral integrity!
You try so hard to be peaceful and diplomatic
But can't make toast without tumblr saying you're problematic (boo, oh)

I could go on

 there's more if I check

There's more things on this list

 than chins on your neck

On your birthday

 you joked you were a quarter way to death

A 100? Yeah,

 when getting out of bed makes you out of breath? (real)

So your celebrity crush was J-Law

 but now it's Evan P.? (mhmm)

What the LEMON even is your sexuality?

It's hard to put you in a box

 when you keep it so blurry (what is it)

I think it's just to hide

 that you're secretly a furry

I'm-I'm joking

Obviously

Okay that went deep...
Repress it? 

Yup!

Before I start crying

 let's wrap this LEMON up

I'm gonna go and LEMON,

 then cry into a slice of pizza (feelings)

Shout out to the other youtubers

 especially Ryan Higa (jerk)

A cringe compilation mixed with cultural appropriation
Met with no depreciation

 it's the YouTube nation

Click subscribe,

 if you wanna watch 4 videos a year! (or 3)

To see my last one

 (from 10 years ago),

 just click over here (fail)

So leave a comment with your reaction,

 you can call me a liar

Cause you just witnessed the roast

 of danisnotonfire

*cris* <<<<<<meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee