Inoculation - a collaboration between Lambda & Alanna234 (unfinished)

My name is Jack...

"Have you read the information?"

I press  my lips together in a firm line, swallowing hard and reaching out for the water in front of me, wanting as much to skip this question as I want to sooth my sore throat. It had felt as if it was going to completely close since I entered this room. A room with too white* walls that seemed to be closing in on me.

"Yes, I have, well most of them."

It wasn't a complete lie, I had read what the plausible side effects were. But I couldn't say I truly cared, I just wanted this, this war, this confusion going on inside my own mind to stop.

The interviewer partials on, informing me what I was undergoing, but I just wanted her to hurry up so I could get out of this suffocating room.

"Shouldn't you be putting wires and sticky things on me like in the movies?" I ask when she pauses, looking back down at her clipboard. The longer she stays silent the hotter I feel like I'm getting, her little laugh is unnerving, is she laughing at me, did I do something funny, what did I do.

"That’s Stone Age tech, this room is fitted with thousands of motion sensors, most aimed at single parts of your body. For instance... we are now measuring your heartbeat via the chair, your brain activity is a little more difficult so we inserted several electronic chips while you were in Cryo. Your heartbeat seems to have raised... hope I didn’t scare you."

Great way of Not scaring someone. I think sarcastically to myself, reaching for another sip of my water so I would have something to do with my hands.

After she has asked her first question I sit in silence for a moment, not fully understanding the lavishly illustrated question, but I know, as much as I hate to admit it, that if I were about to die I would think about my wife. About our good years when we were so in love, so happy. I would look back at the day our daughter was brought in to this world, how I was so amazed that we had produced another human being; I had known, of course, for all those months that she was, but it was different to actually see her.

But I also knew that in my last moments I would once feel the pain of finding out that my beloved wife had strayed.

But it wasn't like I didn't give her a reason to.

But it wasn't my fault she left me.

I wish I could just die.

"I guess... I’d be happy to see it go. To see something living die before I do, to know I have more... time." I finally answer, rubbing my sweaty hands on my pants leg.

Next question; your attractive friend, whom you wish to ask out on a date, when another man or woman does what you would have done and succeeds; your response would be?

"Jealousy..." I answer right away, knowing this emotion far too well, I gotta knock this bloody stuff off, I'm always so cynical; I lay in bed all night hating myself, hating myself for how I think, how I judge.

"Evaluate if you would..." She spoke with such clarity, this was surreal, where was I? There was a window to my left, I could see the Syndey Opera House, I could see the city, if I looked close enough, the suburb where we lived. My mind hated that suburb, there was always a dog, always difficult, to sit there all day, to evaluate it all. God I hated that fucking word, I realised the window wasn't a 'window' it's just a live feed. This building is far out of Sydney, don't I remember it took me an hour to get here, then I feel the pain coming, right split in the middle of my brain.

"Um..." I stuttered, good, this was all good, tests are good, just keep telling myself that. "...it would be annoying, of course but..." It was getting hot, but the air conditioners were on; the room should be freezing. 

"But..." Just ignore her, ignore the bitch, and just drink water; water is supposed to cool you down, I read that on a National Discovery Magazine in the building's lobby, or was it a NewScience? Oh fuck it, I work as a plumber, I don't even know any fucking science. 

"Mr West, you are out with another friend on his or her farm; he or she is an avid hunter, with awards for shooting game. They take out a large sniper type weapon and convince you to handle it, what would you do?" Guns here are banned, shooting rifles banned back in 2019, every gun back in 2023, strict gun laws here, very strict, ever since that bloody shooting I can't remember the name of; oh Jesus I'm off track, it's so hot in here, I'm sweating so bad. 

"Accept their weapon." Why'd you go and say that, last time you had a rifle in your hands was with pop; I missed dad, I miss him so bad, but mum abandoned him for the right reasons, but she was selfish, he was an alcoholic, she was an evil woman, he'd abuse both of you; everyone has there fucking problems! My mind was tearing apart, it's still tearing apart. 

"They then point out a male deer standing in a clearing, he or she is influencing you to shoot the dear; their words cycle, “shoot the deer” “shoot the deer” “shoot the deer” these words do not stop until your actions are conceived, what do you do?" Where's the relevance here, why would she say something so... right, no it's wrong, how would you know, you fix toilets; oh shut the fuck up, please.

"Um..." My stomach is moving, I think I'm gonna be sick. "...god...it's getting hot." I'm outta water too, fuck!

"Answer the question please." She gotta be so harsh, she's so much better at this than I am, she doesn't even have any emotion, robotic bitch. Stop it... stop screaming inside. 

"I'm starting to feel uncomfortable Doc..." Oh damn my brain, this is all just one big joke, money spent on nothing, why did I come here anyways! Why did I fucking come here!

"Please you got to help me! You gotta fucking help me Miss!" Am I screaming? Yeah you are, god it hurts so bad; my head is throbbing, it's moving, it's fucking moving!?

"I... can't, I can't, I'm so sorry..." Oh it hurts, oh, oh, oh, shit I gotta get out, my vision is going all blurry; I can't hear anymore, I can only hear my own screaming; you caused this, oh please just stop, just fucking stop already, I can't take it, I can't fucking take it! She's trying to get away from me she's screaming but I can't hear the words, only my screams, only mine, only... Jesus Christ!

"I hate you all... so much!." I do... I fucking do, I need to go, but I can't, I can only scream, fuck, fuck, fuck...

"God... fu... rum... elp... elp me... god, please... fu..." My heart, oh my... my thoughts, I can't think, please no... oh Jesus no! 

"Fu..." 

- -  -   -    -      -            - 

                            "Daddy..."

                                                                 "Yes my little girl?"

                "Why are you going to the crazy hospital?"

                                 "Daddy..."

                                                              " D a d d y ? "