The Forgotten Faith

Mahashivratri

                         ***
One moment can change a day, one day can change a life and one life can change the world.
-Buddha
                          ***
An endless procession with thousands of people was the speciality of the Mahashivratri in Varanasi. Amar dragged me right amidst the crowd but then let go of my hand. I was standing all alone, losing track of him. I looked around me trying to find him but all I saw was people dressed as different Gods celebrating and dancing. I recognised Vishnu, agni, Brahma and many others. Making strange noises, the ghosts and devils too took part in this procession. It was said that Shiva was God to everyone: human, Gods and devils as well. I kept looking around me admiring the costumes, the stories they told and the acts they performed. I was once again a small child whose eyes shined looking at the spectacular event. The colourful environment for once filled my colourless mind with colour and everything else was forgotten.
A man dressed like a snake charmer held an actual snake in his hand and from time to time he would place it in his mouth and then remove it out unharmed. It was an awesome trick to watch. The children clapped in glee. A small boy just at that moment stood next to me and when I turned to face him he tried to scare me with a ‘boo’. I was taken aback but he was satisfied since he had dressed as a ghost. He giggled and ran away. I was indeed starting to enjoy this procession even though I know I shouldn’t.
From large speakers kept inside the temple, loud music played. It was the Shiva tandava strotram. It’s hypnotising music effecting the entire crowd. Monotonous yet pleasant, Dangerous yet beautiful, the music floated in the air and all were lost in its beats. It was alluring. It was magical.
I was pulled along for a dance by the village ladies. At first I resisted but then I gave in and danced with them. A smile made its way on my lips. I was genuinely enjoying it, I was genuinely happy. Some children came running to me and I gathered them and they clicked a picture. I had in my enjoyment completely forgotten about Amar. I needed to search for him.
Suddenly, amidst the smoke of crackers an outline could be made out. I looked at it intently. Riding on top of a bull, he was the actor playing the role of Shiva. He came closer and closer and when he passed me, he kept his hand on my head giving me his blessings. I kept staring at his receding image. People swarmed around him trying to receive his blessings and even though I didn’t ask for the blessing he still blessed me.
“Enjoying Madam?” I heard someone shout.
I turned to find that it was Amar.
“Where had you been?” I asked him.
“I kind of got lost.” He giggled.
“We have almost reached the Kashi Vishwanath temple.” He said.
“I don’t want to go.”
“Don’t worry. You are just an atheist tourist enjoying the festival.” He grinned.
He was right I was enjoying the festival with no feelings whatsoever for the God. 
                                                                              ***
The Procession reached the temple, with Shiva right in front.  Inside the temple the same man’s wife who had dressed as Parvati stood ready for her wedding. I was eager to watch the wedding but my feet refused to climb the stairs of the temple. The strong repulsion I had some time ago came back.
Amar stepped next to me and extended his hand towards me. I was debating what to do. I wanted to see the wedding but didn’t wanted to go in but something inside me urged me to take his hand and so I did. I placed my hand in his. He curled his fingers around my palm and started ascending the stairs and I without a word followed him. This was a strange feeling, like as though I myself had turned into a bride and as the bride quietly walks down the aisle, I was walking up the stairs that I had vowed never to climb.
We reached on top and then he let go of my hand. In front of me were the God and the Goddess but before that my eyes wandered to the sanctum but I quickly looked away and concentrated on the wedding. I watched as they garlanded each other thus completing the symbolic marriage. Everyone bathed them with flower petals as the ceremony came to an end. What I wanted to see was over and now I had nothing to do with this place. I turned around to leave but found that someone held my hand and stopped me. It was Amar.
“Are you not hungry? I am starving here.”  He said. I was again in trouble but he was right, even I was starving.
Amar made me sit there the entire day. I had to sit through the Abhishek and Maha aarti after which the Prashad was given and later on the Mahabhog was presented to the God.  The temple had arranged food for every visitor. We were lucky and the food was undoubtedly delicious but the only thing that failed to please me was the crowd.
“Now we even had food. Let’s leave now at least.” I pleaded Amar.
“But…the fun has just begun.” He said and dragged me with him back inside the temple. This was terrible, I wanted to run away, shout, do something but I didn’t wanted to go back in but it was useless and his grip was too tight and I couldn’t do anything without putting up a scene and that is the last thing I wanted to do.
“I’ll kill you when we get back home.” I deadpanned.
“You can’t sweetheart.” He was talking sweet but being very difficult. I groaned but quietly sat down on the mat anyway.
Three hours passed by and he made me sit for the Bhajan program. I couldn’t possibly listen to bhajan, so I fished out my cell phone from my pocket. To my surprise, my cell phone just wouldn’t get switched on and that is when I remembered that I hadn’t charged it ever since I came here. When you have no one at home who would call and ask how you are, who even cares to check their phone. Luckily, I always carry a powerbank with me. I took the powerbank out of my bag and connected the cell. I waited for about five minutes and tried to switch it on but it wouldn’t, I tried again but it still didn’t switch on.
“Amar, my cell phone is not getting switched on.” I said.
“That’s weird. Maybe something happened to it.”
“But how can something happen so suddenly? I needed to inform Mr. Kashyap about the meeting and stuff.”
“I am afraid we will have to fix that after we get back to Mumbai. Don’t worry about Mr. Kashyap. I have already informed them everything.”
“Umm…okay.” I had no other choice then to stay without a cell phone for a few days and right now to listen to this bhajan.