you're keeping me alive | hwang minhyun

26 january

it certainly wasn't a normal day for minhyun. it wasn't normal that two minutes before classes started and he still wasn't in his room. it wasn't normal that he was shouting in the hallway. him, of all people. all because of kim naeun, which wasn't normal as well.

"kim naeun!" hwang minhyun shouted along the corridor, hoping naeun could hear his call. he breathed a sigh of relief when she turned around to find the voice.

students trotted to their classes as the bell rang, indicating the start of the first lesson. hwang minhyun didn't care, he just wanted to talk to her. he jogged to her and he was slightly thankful she didn't run away or even judge him for being weird. it was weird he called out to her, wasn't it?

once they faced each other, he called out to her once again, softer this time. and it seemed as if they were the only two in the world although students continued to rush to their allocated rooms and minhyun was continuously shouldered.

"uh, yes?" she finally spoke.

tongue-tied, he was. what was he gonna say? why did he call her out in the first place? "why are you leaving?" he managed to ask, curiosity building up.

she shrugged.

thinking he was invading her personal space, he stepped back and nodded in understanding. "it's okay. i'll just see you when i do." he smiled.

before he could turn to head to his class, she caught his arm, though it took her a lot more power than normal. everything hurt; she had no strength to carry out a normal person's daily activities. it even took her by surprise that she managed to hold him back. "who told you?" she whispered.

he leaned in closer as each word that came out of her voice went softer. "i heard it around the school. you haven't been in class since last week."

she briefly nodded though she didn't look at him in the eye. it looked as if she wanted to say something else but what came out were her warm breath of sigh. he waited for a moment 'til he excused himself for class. he didn't mind not going to class, at least not today, but he'd have nothing to do for the whole day.

she took him by his wrist and it surprised him how soft naeun's hands were. "follow me." she murmured, ignoring his constant excuse of him needing to get to class. together they left the school vicinity. yes, this definitely wasn't a normal day for minhyun.

-

"why did you bring me to the park?" he asked while walking side by side. the cold and cruel wind blew past them but neither were bothered by it. in fact, kim naeun felt warm as she stood beside him.

facing minhyun, she replied, "it's my ideal place for a date."

taken aback, he awkwardly laughed, continuing on their walk. she slowly caught up to him though minhyun had to stop in his track for her to be able to do so.

"would you tell me why?"

the question slipped out of his mouth. he admitted that his curiosity was killing him. why was naeun not saying anything?

realizing his question, he hurriedly apologized to her. "i didn't mean to pry again. it's okay if you don't answer."

she shook her head, though it was careful and slow. her movements were slow. "i must tell you."

together they seeked for shelter so as to be able to comfortably discuss about her situation.

"a month ago, i was diagnosed with leukemia after three weeks of being sick and endless visits to hospitals for diagnosis. ever since then i've been feeling more pain than before." she started as soon as they sat down on one of the benches with proper shade.

he stared at her, completely blanked out. how could someone so pretty and smart experience such pain at such a young age? without him replying, she continued on.

"ever since then, my parents have been in contact with the school so i could leave as i have to prepare for chemotherapy." she snickered, trying to show she's fine, "i bet that will hurt more than how i'm feeling now."

"i didn't want people to know. i hate being pitied." she explained, then smiling right after. "don't pity me."

he smiled back, trying his best to be cheerful for her.

"can i ask you a question?" asked she, breaking the silence of smiling.

he hummed an indication for her to continue on. "why did you come up to me today?"

he looked at her for a while, finding the words to say. he shrugged, "i haven't seen you in a while, that's all."

"really?" she smirked. "and since when did we become close enough for you to be late for class for me?"

he shyly looked down at his own two feet and rubbed his reddening nuque. she caught him.

"i think you know it's me." she blurted out.

looking up, he asked, "about?"

"the letters. i'm guessing you called me out for it."

"it's you?" he was genuinely shocked. of all students in the school, kim naeun?

she only nodded. "i've been admiring you since we were classmates."

"i've always wanted to talk and be close to you but i was afraid you'd shut me out." she confessed. "you're not exactly the most approachable, you see."

he nodded. "i know i'm pretty awkward."

"i loved seeing you everyday in school that i was always upset when weekend came near. i wanted to see you everyday, though you're probably creeped out, aren't you? when i was diagnosed with leukemia, what kept me from the pain was you. i kept thinking of you that i forget about my worries and my sickness. you make me feel at peace."

"when my parents wanted to give some reports to the school, i requested to do them instead so i could see you for a moment. just a glimpse would be fine. unknowingly i started writing these letters." she took a few pieces of paper from her skirt pocket.

"you have them?" minhyun's eyes bulged. "how? i threw them away."

she shrugged, smiling radiantly. "it's pretty upsetting you threw them away. but it's nice you kept some."

"i'm giving all of them to you, along with those you kept. it's your choice to throw them away or keep them." she smiled. how could her lips show happiness but her eyes show the opposite?

taking all of the letters in his hand, minhyun kept it in the small compartment of his bag.

sighing loudly, she stood up from their sitting position, causing him to immediately stand as well. "so, i guess this is it. i have to go to the hospital later. i'm starting the therapy soon."

minhyun nodded in understanding. "kim naeun! you can do it!" he smiled, his white teeth showing and his eyes forming into crescent shapes. he cutely placed a thumbs up beside his right cheek to which naeun laughed at.

"thank you, hwang minhyun."

"we'll surely meet again, right?"

and that was the last words he heard from her.