nefelibata

paroxysm

Paroxysm (noun) - A sudden attack or violent expression of a particular emotion or activity.

~~~

He left her.

A year and 36 days ago, he'd caught her eye from across the coffee shop. A year and 17 days ago, he'd asked her out on a date. 249 days ago, they both said "I love you".

Three minutes and 43 seconds ago, he'd left her on his front porch and revealed that the past 401 days have been a lie.

He'd waited until his name was engraved in the space between her ribs and intertwined with her lungs. Until every detail reminded her of him; from the smallest crease in the smallest leaf to the cinnamon scent of her morning coffee.

He played with her for 401 days; their so-called "love" was a game with a single winner. She had no idea. How could she? Everyone says she trusts too easily, after all.

He left her, motionless on his front porch, and she didn't know what to do.

So she went home. An outsider's perspective would be indifferent; a girl, mid teens, on a late night stroll. However, every step she took felt as if weights were pulling her feet the other way and she had to fight to not choke on the lump in her throat.

She reached her house, unlocked the door, and shot a small smile to her mother who greeted her from the kitchen. Heart lacking all emotion, she trudged to her bedroom. She yearned for some time alone to process what had happened 13 minutes and 42 seconds ago.

She didn't even realize what she was doing when she shut the door behind her; the act was based on pure instinct. No, her mind was fixed on something else entirely. Cutesy texts sprinkled with a variety of heart emojis. Lies. Saturday nights spent curled up against the old leather loveseat in his living room, some mediocre rom-com playing in the background. Lies. Loving caresses and soothing whispers on her worst days. Lies. Lies. Lies. It was all lies-

A sudden paroxysm of tears rattled her form as she propped her back against the door in a lame attempt to gain stability. She craved his shoulder to cry on, his fingers to wipe her tears, his mouth to whisper that everything was going to be alright. She prayed to any and every in any and every religion known to man that this was all just some sick prank, and that soon enough her phone would vibrate with his name gracing the cracked screen.

But it didn't. She was alone, and that's what hurt the most.

She knew she needed to get herself together, but no matter how hard she tried to calm her tears and sniffles, they just wouldn't go away. The hem of her shirt wrinkled in her fists, and she let out a cry of frustration.

Her mother slowly pushed open the door, and gasped when she saw her daughter's wrecked state. Questions came in a flurry, but part of her knew that she'd get no answer; the young adult was obviously too much of a mess to form words. Sighing, she sat against the wall next to her daughter, and held her shaking form.

He left her.