BMC Boyf Riends One Shots

You Aren't Terrible...You're Beautiful

(A/N) CAN'T HAVE CUTE WITHOUT ANGST RIGHT!? I am not sorry tbh, but I am... we need a hug squad for Jeremy...why did I search for so long to find that part from the script?

Jeremy sighed, another sleepless night starting. He hated these nights, mostly because he could hear its voice telling him how horrible he was...or worse...it would use Michael's voice and tell him how horrible he was. He should've been used to it but he just couldn't get over it.

He sat up in bed and looked over at Michael, who was sleeping peacefully on his side. Jeremy smiled gently, mainly because knowing Michael didn't hate him after what he'd done gives him a little reassurance. Still doesn't excuse all of Jeremy's behavior since some of it was his fault...like when he'd called Michael out at the party.

You know where he is now?

Really happy and successful?

He's in a mental hospital. Totally lost it.

I don't see what that has to do with...

...

And I thought Chloe was jealous...

I'm honestly asking!

Really? Because I think you're pissed I have one and you don't!

Come on-

Maybe I got lucky, is that so weird? With my history, I'd say the universe owed me one. And I don't know about your friend's brother's whatever, but if you're telling me his squip made him crazy-

His squip didn't make him crazy.

Oh. Well... There you go.

He went crazy trying to get it out.

Then I've got nothing to worry about. Why would I want that? Move it.

Or you'll what?

Get out of my way. Loser.

That night still burned into Jeremy's head...he couldn't blame it for what he did when that was deactivated...he could only blame himself. The things it told him were true, but in a different sense.

He went to get out of the bed but felt a hand tug on his shirt. Michael. He tried to gently pry his hand off, to no avail. Jeremy sighed, no getting out of this one was there? He lay back down and stared at Michael. This boy had been amazing to him...and what did Jeremy do? Went and abandoned him in the middle of junior year. Yes, they were seniors now, but Jeremy knew he'd messed up. He felt tears prickling at the edge of his eyes but he ignored them.

He heard the thoughts swarm in his head again...about how awful he was, how horrible and disgusting of a human being he was, and he cried. He hadn't genuinely cried since Michael had showed up at the hospital the day of their school play. Not in front of Michael...anyways. Nobody knew, but Jeremy often cried himself to sleep, mainly due to his massive amount of guilt.

His crying went from soft to a very audible level, enough to get Michael stirring in bed.

It had been enough to wake him.

Jeremy didn't even notice Michael waking up until he felt a hand on his cheek. Michael was looking back at him with those beautiful chocolate brown eyes of his.

"Jer, you cryin'?" Michael asked calmly, and Jeremy nodded, his own blue eyes glossy with tears. They looked like small, circular lakes with the tears being like waterfalls. "Why?" Michael asked, and Jeremy just wanted to say nothing and let them stay in this position for the rest of the night...but with Michael he had to give an answer, there was no way around it.

"It's funny...you tell me I'm a good person all the time but...I hurt you more than anybody...the Squip was right ya know... I'm terrible...I hurt the one person that loved me the most..." Jeremy said quietly, avoiding looking at Michael. The shorter male moved his hand into Jeremy's curly brown hair and was gently playing with it.

"Jeremy...you aren't terrible, you were only doing all that crap because the Squip told you to." Michael said, trying to calm Jeremy down, failing.

"No...I called you a loser...and the Squip WASN'T on...he was deactivated, and I left you to have a panic attack, and I didn't answer your texts when you were worried about me and I left you during the fire and...and...I just...I am terrible huh?" Jeremy said, laughing pitifully at himself. He really believed he was horrible, repulsive, ugly, and a disgrace to humanity. He hated himself and he had never planned on changing that.

"Jere...you are not horrible, you were almost...well ya know what Chloe did, and you were under influence. You weren't yourself, and that means it's not your fault. If you were horrible you wouldn't have made up with me, you would probably have killed yourself by the end of all this...you wouldn't have made up with anybody, you'd be wallowing in your depression for almost two years...but you're not. You're here, were dating, and we're happy together...everybody makes mistakes Jeremy, you aren't perfect, nobody is..." Michael said, still running his hands through Jeremy's hair.

"You are... you're always so happy and optimistic, you see the best in everything Michael...no matter what it is, you just do that...I don't know how..." Jeremy said and his lake blue eyes looked back into Michael's chocolate brown ones.

"I'm not as happy as you think Jeremy... I've tried on several occasions to kill myself...mainly back in junior year when you got the Squip...I just...I'm not as happy as I lead on...I'm only happy so you can be happy..." Michael said and quickly enough, Jeremy grabbed him in for a warm cuddle. Michael moved his hand out of Jeremy's hair and back on his cheek and looked up. "Jeremy Heere...you wanna know something?"

"What?"

"You might not be perfect...but you are the most beautiful person I've ever met... you're so amazing, and I don't care how much you screw up, I will always think that...I love you Jeremiah Heere, and I don't want you to think I shouldn't, and that you shouldn't. You love yourself like I love you, ya understand?" Michael said and Jeremy smiled, tears almost ceasing.

"Thanks Michael....I love you too..."

(A/N)...yeah I am honestly proud of this one tbh.