I Hope You Dance (Artemi Panarin)

Realization Theory

Artemi

The hockey tournament came and went and Russia got third. It wasn't what we really wanted but a medal is a medal and we had nothing to hang out heads about. I got to catch up with old friends and play with old line mates just like the good old times. They ask me what it's like over there and I tell them everything, from what it was like playing on such a great team with such great players like Kane and Toews. I even got nominated to be rookie of the year at the age of 25. They eat it all up but that is over now and the vacation is on.

Today my girlfriend and I and our dog were going to go hiking in the mountains. Hank was excited but not nearly as excited as Gabriella was. I've never seen her so elated about something in the nearly year we've been together.

After driving out at the crack of dawn we arrive at the starting point. We grab our backpacks and throw them on and grabs some water before starting our trek. It was going to be a long road but it was the prettiest path out here. Naturally we took the hardest route because isn't that how it goes?

After about two hours of nothing but walking up hill we decide to stop for a little. We find a little grassy area to sit down and decide to chill for a second. Even Hank was panting some and needed some water.

I sit down and take a long drink of my water and let my muscles relax. I haven't had time to actually take a break but this view was so worth it. As the day, I can rest when I'm dead.

Gabby comes over and lays down so her head is in my lap as she looks up at me. I run my fingers through her hair as she smiles, her grey eyes bright and full of life.

"Are you having fun" I ask.

"So much fun. I don't want to leave" she claims.

"You would love it here. There's so many places to see, all natural too" I explain.

"Please don't make me leave" she whispers and I look down. A tear falls as she stares up at me. I don't think we're talking about being in Russia anymore.

"Gabby" I whisper as I go to wipe away the tear. She grabs my hand from touching her face and I sigh. I hate that she wouldn't let me help her.

"Let it stay" she insists.

"Why" I ask.

"Because when I'm gone you won't be there to catch my tears. You can't tell me you will always be there for me because you know it won't be the same. You can't hold me and make me feel better when I'm sad or when I need someone to lean on. You're not gonna be there" she claims.

"I know you think you don't want to go, but you have to. You have to chase your dreams to see what all is out there for you. If I would have stayed here and not went to America because I didn't want to leave my grandparents I would have been crushed. I wouldn't ever get to become who I am and I would have never met you. You're a part of my dreams that I got to chase and now you have to go out and get yours" I explain.

"I know. I know I need to do this, but I just want to stay with you. Wherever you are, whether it's here or Chicago or the streets of some forgotten city, I don't care. I just want to be with you" she insists.

"I'm gonna miss you too" I sigh. I wipe away the tear and she lets out a little sniffle.

We sit there for a while and look at the sky. It was impossibly blue, kinda like the color of the outside of her eyes. But her eyes were cloudy right now and I hated it. I couldn't tell her that I didn't want her to go either because that would be extremely selfish of me. I know that if I didn't push her she wouldn't go. I just wish this could be easier.

After our break we continue to hike. All the stress of the conversation eventually left in that little patch of grass. Hank leads us as Gabby follows and I trail behind her.

After a while we finally reach the top of the mountain and it was well worth it. My legs burned like hell but Gabby wasn't complained so I wasn't going to either.

"Holy shit. This is insane" she gasps as she looks around. Nothing but mountains and trees and grass for miles.

"We're not in Chicago anymore" I tease.

"This is so beautiful. You can see everything from here. The horizon is in reach, I feel like I can reach out to touch it. I've never been this close to god before. I feel reborn" she claims.

"I'm glad you agreed to come" I nod.

"Me too" she smiles.

I take a few pics for her and she does the same for me. Then we take some together and with Hank for safe keeping of good memories. You only get a moment once, might as well appreciate it.

After a while we were getting hungry and decided to head back down to get back home. It went a lot quicker than going up but I was kinda sad it was coming to a end. I know that when we get back I won't have her for much longer and that upsets me.

Today was so much fun but I know if I was hiking this mountain by myself I would hate it. It's her that makes these things special and I wouldn't have her much longer. It was a scary thought that was quickly becoming my reality.

"Hey baby, are you okay" she asks softly rubbing my arm. I realize we made it to the bottom and I don't even remember half of it.

"Yeah. I just... was thinking" I say.

"About what" she asks.

"What's for dinner" I lie and she giggles.

"Come on... lets go home" she smiles.

I was home, wasn't I?