Pretty Handsome Awkward (GERBERT)

Chapter 8- upper falls

AN: ok I haven't looked this over so sorry if there are any mistakes

Contrary to popular belief, Gerard Way was not the only addict within the relationship.

While Bert tried to downplay his addictions, or disguise them as the generic rock band party lifestyle, it was something he struggled with deeply, but as the years progressed he still appeared to be under the same philosophy that if he didn't say it out loud, then it didn't exist. Funnily enough, this actually worked for a short while. He would allow himself to party as much as he wanted and -as long as he didn't drink too much- he would be alright to have a few drugs here and there. It started with pills. Just generic stuff. Painkillers turned to Xanax. Xanax turned to ecstasy. Ecstasy turned to ket. And finally, ket turned to coke.

Bert hated the word 'cocaine.' It seems so.. formal. Problematic, even. The word 'coke' made it sound casual, like something innocent you could do with friends. But 'cocaine?' It was too serious.

And Bert hated being serious.

He reasoned with his band mates to let him stay on the My Chem bus for a few nights. They didn't care, they all secretly thought Bert was a downer anyway. And after all, neither of the bands had any shows for at least 3 days, it was straight traveling.
He noticed over the past few days that Gerard was distancing himself from everyone. He would either wake up extremely early so that he wouldn't have to talk to anyone, or sleep in until everyone had left the bus (even though Bert was fairly sure he was faking it whenever he did this).

He knew he had to give Gerard his space. He knew Gerard was still upset over getting drunk the other day, and about breaking up with Trent. Bert accepted all of these things, but he had no idea what to do about it. He felt guilty for not noticing Gerard was being abused, and for letting him buy the alcohol.

He sighed out loud, itching his nose. Things got bad when he was stressed, and as his right knee continued to bounce and his left index finger rhythmically moved up and down his thumb, irritating his skin, he knew that he could not just sit through this feeling.

He checked on Gerard once before he would get leave. He knelt down next to Gerard's bunk and placed a kiss on his forehead, and then proceeded to exit the bus, leaving Gerard on his own.

Bert had no idea where the fuck to go, but somehow, in a disarray of desperation and stress, he managed to find a sketchy 20 year old who dressed like a teenager to sell him what he desperately needed.

He couldn't wait until he got back to the bus, he had to same some that very second, so he decided to sneak behind the nearest alley and inhale the snow that burned his nose.

Instantly he felt more alive.

His eyes grew open wider, and he began to smirk as he quickly made his way back to the bus, unable to walk slowly.

Meanwhile, Gerard had begun to wake up. This time he truly wasn't faking his long sleep, but he actually rather needed it.

He stiffened his back and rubbed his eyes, silently wishing he wasn't awake, but continued with his morning (well- early afternoon) nevertheless.

He sensed something was wrong when he was alone, but he knew something was wrong when Bert came back.

"you're awake." Bert noted out loud as he closed the door. And then opened it. And then closed it. and then repeated this once more.

He sat down in front of gerard with the small table in between them.

Bert lit up a cigarette and smiled at the man in front of him. He was happy, but Gerard on the other hand was confused as fuck.

"Bert?" Gerard asked innocently.

The long haired main flicked his cigarette three times, what gerard presumed to be another nervous tic.

Bert nodded, without really replying.

"You're on something." Gerard pointed out, unhappily. "What did you do?" He asked, staring into Berts eyes, noticing his large pupils.

"I uh" Bert said, sniffing between his words. "I got a little stressed, Gee," he admitted. "I was worried about you , you weren't -uh- you weren't talking for a while."

Gerard rolled his eyes "What, so you decide to go and get high? As if that'll fix anything?"

Bert laughed with annoyance. "For fucks sake gee," he smiled "didn't you do the exact same thing the other day, but with alcohol?"

Gerard looked to the side, he didn't want Bert to be right but he was.

"Well yes, Bert, but-

This earned another laugh. "Don't be a hypocrite, babe, it doesn't look good on you."

Gerard sighed, and reached over the table to grab Bert's hand. "Please don't do this." He begged. "I don't like seeing you like this." He quietly added.

Bert rubbed his eyes. "Last time, Gee. This is the last. Last time.." he muttered, once again making Gerard notice his odd rule of three.

"Promise?" Gerard asked.

Bert picked up the hand that was in his, kissing it.

"Promise"