Damage

Chapter 9

"No, we did not sleep together. I don't....I've never..." I trail off, even more embarrassed now.

"Are you...a virgin?" she asks incredulously. The blunt questions leaves me too mortified to respond, only nodding my head and burying my face in my pillow. I'm exhausted and did not plan on having this conversation with a girl who while very nice, only became more than a stranger less than 24 hours ago.

"Awww," she sighs, looking at me sympathetically. "It's okay, don't worry. It's nothing to be ashamed of."

"No, I'm not ashamed," I say, fiddling with edge of my white dress that I still have on. "It's just embarrassing to talk about. I would never, ever, ever sleep with a jerk like him."

Emily laughs and gets up from her bed, grabbing her toiletries and a towel.

"Alright, Mia," she smiles assuringly. "Are you okay then? I don't know what happened last night, we were all worried about you. The party was crazy and I'm sorry we lost track of you."

Although her intentions are good, something about her words bothers me. I don't like being someone that people have to 'keep track of.' Emily leaves to take a shower and I decide to take a short nap, still exhausted from the events of last night and this morning, even.

Everything feels so surreal and I regret going to that party a million times over. But somehow, as strange as it sounds, a tiny, impossibly small fragment of me wants to go back. I must be losing my mind.

I close my eyes and wrap myself underneath the dark blue covers, but it feels like only seconds before I'm woken up by my phone ringing.

I look at the time with my bleary eyes and find that I've been asleep for nearly two hours.

"Hello?" I ask, the number is unfamiliar.

"Hi," the voice on the other end is low and in my tired state I can't make out who it is.

"Who is this?" I ask, sitting up and running my hands through my hair.

"It's Luke. Luke Hemmings."

I have to keep myself from sighing on the phone, almost wanting to hang up and block his phone number.

"Why are you calling me?" I say, my voice sounding surprisingly hurt, even though I didn't mean it to be. Even though I didn't think I was that upset in the first place.

"I...Well, I just got out a meeting with my father about an hour ago." he notes, his words laced with anger when he mentions his father. Now that I'm more awake, I can hear a slight slur in his voice. It's only a hint but it still worries me.

"Luke, are you drinking?"

"I've only had one glass, calm the fuck down."

"Luke, it's 10:30 in the morning."

"So? What is your problem? God, you're just like him, always so worried." Just like who?

"How did you even get my number?"

"Calum." I mentally curse myself for giving my number to Calum last night. Something about the way Luke is speaking makes me uneasy.

"Luke, why are you even calling me?"

"I guess, I wanted to make sure you were okay. I shouldn't have - I shouldn't have made you walk back alone."

His words send a shiver down my spine, but I can't forget how cold he was this morning.

"I'm fine."

I can still hear him on the line, the pause hanging over us like a dead weight.

"I'm sorry for looking through your things this morning."

"Just don't do it again," he brushes it off quickly, his tone harsh."Look, leave it alone, alright? If it were my choice, you wouldn't have even come to the party, let alone stayed in there."

There's another pause filled with uncomfortable silence and my head nearly reels at his words. I've never met anyone so heartless or bitter in my life.

"Why are you like this?" I say without thinking. He's silent on the other end and I can hear him taking a swig of something liquid. "What did I ever do to you? Why do you hate me so much?"

"Mia," he sighs, saying my name for the first time. "I'm trying to do something decent, for once."

His tone sounds apologetic, but the real apology never comes. He doesn't seem like the person who would ever say he's sorry.

In the background I can hear the voice of another girl, calling out his name and suddenly feel a bitter taste rising in my throat.

"Just, don't come to my parties anymore." His words take me aback, hitting my like a punch to the stomach. "You don't belong there, anyway."

Before I can respond, he hangs up, leaving me angry and confused and hurt, just like before. My first day of classes here is in one day, but as I walk to the shower room and let the hot water run over my body, I can't bring myself to think about anything but him.

***

sorry this one's a little late! updates are (usually) every other day at 5 PM EST so the next chapter will be up on thursday.

tumblr - iwriteabout5sos.tumblr.com