I Am The Mockingjay.

Chapter Eight

*Gale*

    "Gale?" Dawn asks me with a worried  look. My heart beat quickens and I can feel my breathing start to do the same. Chills rack my body.
   "Gale." Dawn says again. My eyes snap back to her gaze.
   "Are you okay?" She asks looking at me like I have four heads.
   "Yeah I'm fine. I gotta shower, see you tomorrow." I get up off the living room couch and place Dawn's photo into her hand before quickly walking back to my room and locking the door. After a second thought I grab a couch from the corner and push it in front of the door. No need for her lock picking skills.
   I sit down on my bed and try to take deep breaths but I can feel my blood rushing in my ears. I gasp for air, but I can't seem to get enough. My lungs are screaming at me and I can't seem to think straight. Thoughts pop in and out of my head like bullets.
That face. I saw it. I know who that is. I saw the life drain out of his eyes...
Dawn's photo flashes before my eyes without ceasing. The photo of her dead lover. His face was immediately recognizable...as was my guilt.
I remember the day clearly. Katniss and I were in the woods, waiting for game to pass by. That's when we saw them. Two people, a boy and a girl, dark circles under their eyes from no sleep. They were running as if their lives depended on it.
Then suddenly all of the birds stopped singing, save one. A hovercraft appeared on top of them out of nowhere. The girl looked at me, then to Katniss for help, but I couldn't move. It dropped a net around the girl and then seconds later a spear shot out and pierced through the boy's chest. His lifeless body was dragged up into the hovercraft with a chain attached to the spear. His dead eyes were locked on me. With a final scream from the girl the hovercraft disappeared.
The moment haunts me to this day. The girl's scream rings in my ears in every bad dream, and the boy's blank eyes stare into mine and call for blood. The same eyes like in the photo Dawn just showed me.
I watched her boyfriend die. I could've helped them....but I didn't.
My body starts involuntarily shaking, and the room seems to be closing in on me. I get up off the bed and pace the floor, feeling like a caged animal.
Do I tell Dawn? Should I tell Dawn? Would it matter? I should just keep it to myself. No. She should know. Would she get mad at me? How would that affect us in the games? She'd hate me, I didn't help him...God I wish Katniss was here....
The more I think about it the more questions come into my head. I feel like I'm going insane. I take a deep breath, and then another, and then another. I need fresh air.
I remove the couch from in front of the door and silently slip out of my room. I notice there's stairs leading up so I follow them. I come to a door that leads to an outdoor balcony. There's eerie sounds of wind chimes and the rustling of plants all around me.
I breath deeply, trying to rid myself of my thoughts. The air smells too clean, too fresh, too...foreign. I miss my home. I miss my family. I miss the woods. I miss Katniss. I sigh and sit down on a bench surrounded by vines and plants.
If I were home I would go straight to the woods. I'd meet Katniss there and I'd tell her everything and we could figure it out and everything would be fine. But I guess that's not my reality anymore. In a few days I'll be thrown into an arena. And if I win...what then?
   I run a hand through my hair and try to focus on the bright lights of the city around me. There's a cold breeze that blows around me making my skin rise with goosebumps.
   Suddenly there's slight shuffling from behind me. I slowly turn, expecting it to be Dawn and dreading the thought of explaining this situation to her. But when my eyes meet a different girl's my heart sinks as I meet the second ghost of my past today.
   I'd heard of Avoxes before, but I'd never met one. The people who had committed crimes so horrible that the government captured them and cut out their tongues, making them slaves for the rest of their lives. But I knew this girl before she was an Avox. It was the girl who was running, with Dawn's boyfriend. This day couldn't not get worse.
   At first I think about how angry she must be at me. I didn't help her. But her eyes tell me differently. Her Hazel eyes calmly look into mine and her mouth forms a small closed smile, telling me she knows exactly who I am. I can't help but cower under her gaze.
   My hands fidget in my lap and I look down with shame and guilt. She continues to work around me, watering flowers and admiring their petals. Without warning she lays a hand on top of mine.
   I meet her eyes once more. She tilts her head, showing concern. But why? I practically caused her to be an Avox in the first place, why isn't she angry?
"I'm so sorry..." I whisper. She shakes her head as if I'm talking nonsense and puts a finger to her lips. With another soft gaze she squeezes my hand and without a sound she leaves as quickly as she came.
   For the first time in a long time I feel some relief. It was as if I could read her mind. Your forgiven she seemed to say. Maybe I should tell Dawn. Maybe she could give me the same relief the Avox did. At least I hope so...