jealousy - finn wolfhard [✓]

nineteen

cara♡

i said too much with finn earlier, we both did. he admitted he didn't like yasmin like he thought he did, and i said i still loved him. yes i mumbled it under my breath but the way his face lit up when i said it makes me think he heard me say it.

the sound of someone knocking on the door made me snap out of it, it was tom's knock. he always knocks in a specific way so i didn't even have to check in the peephole.

he pushed himself in and spoke, "well you spent the night, how was he?" 

"when i got there he was a mess, i managed to get him to open up last night and we spoke again this morning." "see i told you you'd make him open up." tom was smirking at me, causing me to punch him in the shoulder.

"he fell asleep to some random show when we were in his bed and he started hugging me in his sleep -" he cut me off there, "that doesn't sound creepy at all."

"not the time tom, it was like he was holding onto me like he used to when we were together but i couldn't deal with it, i cleaned his apartment until 2am and then slept on the sofa. everything just felt like we were back in 2017 and small world hadn't even come out yet." his mouth dropped when i spoke and i rolled my eyes at him.

"you still like finn, like a lot." he was shocked, as if he didn't believe me last night. "no shit sherlock, i only told you what, 15 hours ago?" now he punched me in the shoulder and told me to carry on talking.

"this morning we started speaking, i woke up and brought him breakfast in bed; but after he finished that he began talking about how he didn't feel how he felt with me, when he was with yasmin. and i let it slip out that i still love him-" his eyes widened and he looked at me serious this time.

"what?" "it was under my breath, i was talking about how i felt when he left and i guess i lost any filter but i said something about how i 'loved him' and then i said 'i still do' but i don't know if he actually heard it." i let out a frustrated groan and ran my hands through my hair.

"i have no idea what to do, i don't want to get back into a relationship with him right after yasmin, but i literally said that i loved him then sprinted out of there. he doesnt deserve this- this stress." he placed his hands firmly on my shoulders and looked me in the eye. 

"ok, do not blame yourself, it is only natural to still have feelings for him. you two really were in love and he was your first love. you're in a very sticky situation cara and i can't speak from experience here; but i feel like you need to talk it out together to work out what you should do next." he was right, i just don't know if i have the emotional strength to do this. i pulled him in for a comforting hug and thanked him.

"i need to go and do some businessy stuff but i'll see you soon." he nodded and walked out of the door causing me to inform emalee on all of this drama.

cara:
i think i done fucked up

emalee:
oh my god no what happend

is this the finn and yasmin thing, i saw the e! news article
you was right about her; she was a fucking snake

cara:
yes this is a finn thing,
everyone from the cast had been trying to talk to him but he wouldn't open up
so tom begged me to speak to him and for some reason he answered to me.

emalee:
omfg you still like him
how did you cope you poor soul
and you're both fresh out of relationship

cara:
well yeah but with lewis it was mutual
so mutual we ended up telling each other at the same time.

emalee:
but finn's wasnt
how did he cope?

cara:
he was rough when i got there but i got him speaking when i turned up
and we ate some chocolate fudge brownie together.

emalee:
goals
wait sorry is that insensitive
i need to know how YOU feel about this not finn

cara:
i kinda told him i loved him still this morning

emalee:
i just fucking choked
if i thought i was tired then im wide-a-fucking-wake now
this is something only you could do cara
but how?
why?
when?

cara:
jfc i'll explain it
finn was talking about how he wasn't sure if he actually LOVED yasmin the whole time they were together
so i tried to help him feel less sad about it by telling him how i was feeling when he left
 but i said something like "when i loved you" to him and i saw his face drop.

emalee:
does this kid still have feels
if he does he better not fuck with you i swear

cara:
let me continue ffs
then it was kinda under my breath i said "i still love you" 
and i saw his face light up but i panicked and told him that i 
would go back and see him later.

emalee:
this makes my heart hurt
if you had felt like this last year i would've smacked you one
but if you're still having feelings like this cara then i think you two might really be in love still.

cara:
well thats fine and fucking dandy
im just going to bite the bullet and go back there
wait no should i?
i don't want to dump all of my feelings on him now
he's still a bit fucked up 

emalee:
he said he didn't love her right?

cara:
he said he's not sure if he loved her the whole time they were together
thats a little bit ambiguous 

emalee:
true, but was he hinting he still has feelings for you
did you ask tom to talk to him and see if he can get anything out of him

cara:
no but i just had an idea, i'll tell you how it goes.