My Favorite Mistake

Sometimes I wonder why I get myself into these messes. I get into many of them. Ever since I began walking, maybe even before that, I attracted trouble. It's more like I went looking for it and when I found, I gleefully embraced it. Nothing very creative, okay, sometimes they were downright bizarre, but normally they were clichéd messes.

I was in a clichéd mess now. The night had been full of them. Where did they all lead to? They led to me alone in the middle of the night on some deserted road with smoke coming from my stupid, useless car. Not exactly the wisest ways to ring in the New Year that is if I lasted out here that long.

Earlier tonight I found trouble with Alexander Davids, my ex-boyfriend. It was horrible that he cheated on me. Yes, he was one of my mistakes, but for him to attend the same New Years Eve party with me, it was simply unforgivable. No, what was unforgivable was to have a new tramp on his arm.

Now that was just downright unkind, I decided. Can you tell I never really got over the break-up? Sure, I dated other men, but I didn't trust them. It wasn't her that bothered me so much. It was that she wasn't the bitch that he cheated on me with. His excuse was that he loved that other woman, but then why wasn't he with her?

Anyways, I'm babbling, but back to one of my messes. So I was in a group of my friends, seeking their support and naturally we began to make disparaging comments about the contemptuous man. So joining in on the fun, I also made such a comment.

It was just my luck, bad, horrid, foul luck that a shadow fell upon me. Of course, I looked up and naturally I would see who other than my ex hovering at my side with his beloved new tramp and his loyal bestfriend hovering at his sides. His face was red and mottled up with rage. Not so attractive now, I thought.

No, my comment hadn't been so very bad, but the fact I was making it at all was what enraged him. He gave me a piece of his mind and told me how horrible he thought I was. It had been wrong of me so I stood my ground and took whatever he had to dish out. I was good at that. I didn't curse back at him or throw my drink in his face, but believe me, I was so very tempted to do just that. I hadn't even done that when I found him in my apartment, in my bedroom, in my bed rutting with some bimbo he supposedly loved. I did find a new apartment, though. The other one became tainted.

What can I say? I don't like making scenes. However, he did not mind making them at all. In the end, he got frustrated when I refused to take the bait that he had offered and join in the yelling. So he escalated it himself and stormed off, but not before he had called me a desperate, frigid bitch. Yes, that's my loveable, charming, sweet, caring, kind ex-boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen. Don't you just wish you had one of him for yourself?

What did I do then? I gulped down my drink and then another and returned to talking with my friends. Some of them knew me well enough to change the subject. Others simply continued to gush on about how I could have such patience and dignity that I refused to lower myself to his level. They conveniently forgot that I had been making mean comments behind his back like a spiteful twelve year old, but I saw no need to remind them.

I also saw no need to correct them. Dignity? They thought I left that encounter with my dignity intact. Clearly, I wasn't the only one who had had a tad bit too much to drink.

I was mortified, in my own wretched behaviour and in his. How mature was what I did? How juvenile was his tantrum? Either way, it was one of those clichéd messes when someone joins in on some male-bashing and said male appears to hear it.

That wasn't the first or the last of my mistakes of that night. After such embarrassment, I was no longer in the mood to celebrate the upcoming year. So around ten o'clock, I quietly slipped away from the party after telling the friend I came with that I was leaving. She offered to leave with me, but I refused. She accepted my refusal and assured me that she would catch a ride home with someone else.