Casting Moonshadows

79. Operation Recreate Goblin Battles

A small, darkhaired Ravenclaw guiltily looked towards him and pointed his wand at his chest, muttering a spell. His breastplate shimmered, then turned to burnished copper and silver, decorated with a complicated goblin-style design which Remus pretended not to notice resembled a stylised 'RD'. You had to give the kid points for creativity and inventiveness.

"King Volbig the Vicious's battalion, don your armour!" James's magnified voice echoed from the opposite side of the pitch. He looked even more ridiculous than Sirius. He had 'borrowed' an antique horned helmet from one of the suits of armour in the castle, but it was a little too big and the only thing that kept it from dropping down and resting on his shoulders were his ears. He had attached goblin-syle spikes to his glasses in the mistaken belief that they made him look sinister.

There was clatter from his little army in turn as armour and helmets and shields were donned.

"Right, Judge Lupin," Sirius called, gesturing up to him with a rather crazed grin. "A reminder of the rules, please!"

"Are you sure he can?" called a fifth year Slytherin girl from the stands opposite. "I heard he can't string more than ten words together at a time without having to go for a lie down to recover."

Her words were met with sniggers from all quarters. Outside of the Marauders, Remus wasn't known for being particularly verbose. It had started out as shyness and embarrassment about his stutter, but now that this under control most of the time, it was just a habit. He saw Sirius's shoulders stiffen and shot a glare at the other boy. The last thing they needed was this thing to end before it started.

Remus turned to look at the girl and narrowed his eyes. "Kindly remember that the use of the sonorous charm is banned to all audience members, McDoland," he said. "And I also request that you keep your opinions to yourself until you are able to string two thoughts together without having to go and have a lie down." The stands erupted in laughter and the girl sunk back in her seat scowling. Remus unrolled the piece of parchment he had clenched in his hand and held up his wand to his throat again. "Right everyone. Rule number one – No interference of any sort from anyone in the audience.

"Rule number two – All armour and transfigured weapons have to be in the style of the era. Anyone found breaking this rule will be disqualified.

"Rule number three – you have all practised the paint-shooting spell with your wand. If you have been 'fatally hit' with paint, you will start to glow and will need to leave the field. Every enemy goblin you kill is worth ten points.

"Rule number four – you have been discussing battle tactics with your fellow soldiers for the last couple of weeks. Please remember that the only tactics allowed to be used are ones that were actually used in the Goblin Wars between 1642 and 1680. You get an added fifty points for every tactic that you use and another twenty if the tactic is successful. Remember that if anyone is genuinely hurt by your side, you lose fifty points for your team. Any questions?"

"No, Judge Lupin," chorused sixty-eight little voices and two larger ones.

"Anything to add from Judge Evans?" He called across to Lily who was seated at the opposite side of the stadium. She shook her head, obviously trying her best not to look amused. "Right. Remember – the aim of the game is to see who can get to Princess Sordrella the Sort-of-Attractive first and bring her back to their barracks. Princess Sordrella – give us a wave, mate!"

Peter, fuming but resigned, and dressed in a monstrously frilly grey-green concoction of the kind that was popular among goblin maidens in the 1600s, gave a reluctant wave from his perch high up on the platform in the middle of the field. His nose, beneath the tangled green wig, had been powdered grey and decorated with a gnarled looking fake beauty-boil. A chorus of mocking cheers and wolf whistles rose from the audience.