Helplessly

CHAPTER ONE

Zaidat... Zaidat! Wake up,
I felt someone tap me, I groggly registered the voice to be my mums, why would wake me by this time, I heard the voice again this time it seemed like she was getting annoyed.

It wasn't really my fault I was a heavy sleeper, my mom's voice sounded again and dis time I wasted no time in getting up coz if I had wasted one more second the outcome would have been a beating. I turned and faced her trying to keep my eyes open
"get up, it's time for fajr "she said:
I managed to crock out a yes mom I got up I stumbled the rest of the way to the bathroom while my mom watched she was not going to leave till I had performed ablution if not I'll fall right back into my deep slumber.

I woke up again around nine in the morning considering I just graduated from high school I was a free bird well till admission is released that is, and am crossing my fingers because I know insha Allah I'll not spend a year at home before going to university.

Later as I was sitting in my mom's room reading a novel on wattpad called muslimah in love it was a wonderful book but there was a part that almost made me cry but none the less it was great.

"assalam alaik" I heard a voice say knowing the voice too well to belong to my obnoxious cousin who spends more time here than he does at their house I ignore it leaving my sisters to answer him.

Moments later I could hear their laughter from the living room I tried to ignore it but me being me could not and as the saying goes curiosity kills the cat. So I got up and gently opened the door and poked my head out to hear what they were saying, and just at that moment a stupid cockroach decided to crawl pass me and did I mention I was deadly afraid of them so you must have guessed my reaction which will be none other than shrieking and jumping on the first thing closest to me which just happens to be my sister,
I rolled over and hid behind her still shouting for someone to kill the cockroach but they were all engrossed in laughing at me that they didn't even sense my distress. It was when I noticed they wouldn't do anything about it that my fear was suddenly replaced by fury as I got up from behind my sister who was actually called hanifah and being mind full of where I step in case the dreadful insect was still there I made my way out of the room with a full frown on my face, it was then that their laughter died down and I heard my elder sister hanifah call my name with a voice that was both filled with remorse and laughter, I ignored her, hell I ignored all of them for the entire day because that was as far as I could go with a grudge and the next day things would be back to normal well that was before his annoyingly handsome face appeared in my line of vision.

Finally after he greeted my mom and sat down on a chair opposite of me I sighed out loud while the words I'd been trying to suppress came out, "could this day get any better'' I said

and of course he replied with a smirk casual shrug which I just couldn't help but roll my eyes at
''I mean seriously don't you have a home or is it just your hobby to ruin my day ''I said,

''well I can't help it u know making your day miserable is what brings joy to my life and yes I do have a home two homes in fact'' he said.

Argh he's so annoying I groaned, I couldn't stand him any longer so I left him outside with my mom and came back in to sit with my sisters,
''I mean seriously what is he being fed that makes him so arrogant, arhg '' my sister who is called Khadija just laughed at me ''this is not funny ''I said

'' I just don't get why u guys don't get along'' she said,

''it's because he's such a snob , I don't know how u guys can stand him'',

''that's because we don't see him as that you' re the only one who sees him that way'',

''whatever I said as I closed my eyes and fell asleep .

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       Two weeks later my father summoned me, it was rear for our dad to speak to us himself he always spoke through our mom so imagine my surprise when he called me.

I tried to calm myself down and prepare for the meeting as my mind conjured up thoughts of everything I had had done, every rule I had broken, my dad was a very strict and stern man who rarely smiled even to our mom talk more of to us, I tried to stop the thoughts and organize myself as I reached the door to his living room.

My heart was beating so hard I thought it was going to burst.
I opened the door and walk in and the first thing my eyed feel on was the man sitting opposite him,
"I didn't know he had a visitor '' I thought to myself, I greeted my dad and greeted the man while trying my best to keep a smile on my face, I sat down further away from them and kept my head down out of respect .
I lifted my head back up when I heard him call my name,

''Zaidat'' he said,

''yes father''

'' I called u here because I have something important to tell u'' he said

I kept quiet waiting for him to continue

''this is my friend Mr. Abdullah and he has come here with a proposal to get his son married to one of my daughters and I have decided to get him married to u''

My eyes were as wide as saucers, my heart which was beating fast was beating even more faster, I whipped my head up and looked at my father in the eye as a single tear ran down my face, no I was not going to cry this is what he wanted to make our life miserable , he never acknowledged us before to him we were a disgrace a female child was a disgrace. And now he was practically giving us out as charity to who so ever comes knocking on the door, well that was not going to happen to me.

I was brought out of my thoughts by my dad's voice telling me to go and call my mother, I quietly got up and used the wall as support because my legs could no longer carry me and with each shaky step I took the walls I had built to hold my tears broke and as I reached my mom's room my eyes were nearly blinded by the tears I quickly wiped them as I went in for I do not want her to see me in this fragile state she already has enough problems as it is I didn't need to add mine to her load.

After I had managed to crock out the words my father had sent to say and as I watched her walk to his living room I closed the door behind her and then, then I let the tears flow freely as I even added to it by letting out a loud wail which was muffled by the pillow I had clung to my chest.