Infinite Shadows

18

      I allowed my legs to quicken their pace as I ran home. When I reached the front door, I barged open the unlocked door and charged upstairs.

Grabbing my suitcase from under my empty bed, I began throwing my belongings in it with fury. 

Every piece of me was being packed away in that bag, ready to leave. To move on.

I picked up my stuff and transported it downstairs placing it by the fireplace. Grabbing a pen and a piece of paper from a nearby desk, I began frantically writing. Tommy would be arriving any minute now to chase after me.

Dear Pol,

You may be wondering where I have run off too this time. Well, you will be content to hear, this is the last time. I've made the accusation that I am no longer needed nor wanted in this home. My actions cause the family pain as well as disappointment. I shall no longer be the burden of this household. I am moving on. I will not tell you where I am going or how I am proceeding with my travels, for it doesn't matter. I will no longer matter to you anymore. I shall not matter to anyone but myself. I would like to apologize for my recent actions. I've made many mistakes in my life and maybe one of them was allowing you to earn my trust. I've quite obviously broken it and for that, I am sorry. I understand that this is coming from nowhere. You must be confused. Why would I run off like this? With no warning?  My whole life has been a warning to you. All my actions have led up to this moment. This is the right time. I know it is. And if I do happen to be with child, it is best for them as well. I need my independence. You need your freedom. Thank you for all you've done. Not just for me, but for the boys. For Esme. For Ada. They are all beyond grateful as well as I. I wish you fortune and happiness in life, Aunt Pol.

Yours Truly,

Daisy Caoimhe Murphy

I placed the pen and paper neatly on the dining room table whilst placing my coat and hat on.

I moved the fridge once again and took some money out of the hidden vault. If I was going to leave, I was going to have to survive.

Pushing the money deep into my pocket I grabbed my suitcase and stopped in my tracks. I glanced at what I was leaving behind. 

A single tear fell down my rosy cheeks. This was for this best.

The door swung open to reveal Tommy, Alfie and Arthur all out of breath.

"What are you all doing?" I exclaim.

Their eyes travel to my suitcase.

"What the bloody hell are you doing?" Tommy shouts.

I chin began trembling as unreleased tears formed in my ocean eyes.

"I'm leaving." I whisper audibly.

"What do you mean you're leaving, Daisy?" Arthur's face grows blue.

"I must move on. Too much of my past haunts me here. I'm not healthy for this family. I bring pain and disappointment. I'm leaving." I weep.

I begin to push my way past the three men when my arm is tugged lightly by Alfie.

"Daisy." He whispered.

"Alfie, please." I try to regain control of my arm.

His hands find their way to my cheeks as he looks into my eyes.

Tears began to flow as I looked softly at Alfie's face.

"Please don't leave me, love. Imagine the life we could have together. We need each other. I need you."

I place a soft kiss on his cheek.

"I'm so sorry." I speak, exiting the house.

Raising a hand gently, I called for a cab.

A black car pulled up against the curb awaiting my presence. Placing my bags in the seat besides me, I climbed in.

"Where to, miss?"

"Birmingham New Street Station, please."

I took one more look at the shocked men's face before the car made it's way towards its destination.

The car ride was long. It felt like hours. Contemplation and curiosity filled my mind.

"Miss. Your stop." The cab driver interrupted my thoughts.

I handed him a spot of cash and exited the car with my luggage.

The sounds of train whistles and voices filled the air. I began to walk to the ticket booth as my shoes clicked on the pavement.

"Hello! How may I help you today?" The man at the desk politely asked with a genuine smile.

I took a deep breath and gulped.

"One ticket, please."

"Where are you off to, dear?"

"London."