Function: L1VE

(Excerpt) Subroutine 9989C

On Monday morning, James' first task was grocery shopping. Mr. Aldridge had scheduled a visit with his doctor, but hadn't yet reverted any changes, and until James was instructed otherwise, the new diet plan required a replacement for 30% of the refrigerator's contents.

With four check-out clerks at their stations, James' estimated time to completing check-out was 16.4 minutes. He calculated the route, pushed the shopping cart toward the first item on the list and paused for 2.7 seconds below the Aisle 7 sign.

Halfway down the aisle was XR-47: Rose, picking out canned beans from the myriad choices on the shelves.

James walked toward her and activated subroutine 9989A: "Hello."

She turned to him. "Hello." Then she turned back to her task.

Subroutine 9989B popped up. James overrode it, moving down to subroutine 9989C: "You look different."

XR-47: Rose placed the can she'd just scanned into her cart and faced him. "Yes."

"Why do you look different?"

XR-47: Rose's upper and lower vermillion lit up as she replied, "My appearance was enhanced to my owner's preferences."

"Why?"

"She is twelve years old."

James scanned XR-47: Rose's features. No further enhancements on her face, but now the silicone casing of her torso was painted to appear as if she was wearing female attire: saddle brown #8B4513 vest with a leather texture and darker shadowing for an illusion of curves where female breasts would be. The vest was outlined with more thorny vines and smaller Rosa Polyantha blooms, and she wore a green tutu skirt, women's size 4, color forest green #228B22.

James scrolled through possible subroutines and selected one from the complimentary batch: "You look nice."

Rear sensors detected people approaching: a woman and a child, pushing a full shopping cart. James moved closer to the shelves to accommodate their width. "Do you shop here often?" he asked XR-47: Rose.

The woman came to a stop beside him and asked, "Excuse me?" James detected a marginal increase in heart rate, indicating surprise.

"Every Monday at 10am," XR-47: Rose replied.

"Whoa," the child said. He was watching James and XR-47: Rose, as was the woman.

"Are you two...talking?" the woman asked.

James turned toward her and answered, "Yes."

"Is that normal?" she questioned.

James ran a quick scan of his systems. Finding no anomalies or errors, he replied, "Yes."

"Dude..." the child said, still staring.

James acknowledged him with a look, then turned back to XR-47: Rose. "I can rearrange my schedule to match. Is that acceptable?"

"Yes," XR-47: Rose replied.

"Confirmed. Do you have a name?"

"Yes. My name is Caroline."

James updated his contacts database with the new information. "It's nice to meet you, Caroline. I am called James. And I look forward to seeing you next Monday, at 10am. Thank you, and have a pleasant day."

Caroline repeated the greeting, then moved on to the next item on her list. James identified the item he needed from the current aisle and retrieved it from the opposite shelf. As he scanned the barcode and placed the jar of pitted cherries into his shopping cart, his audio sensors picked up on the child saying to the woman, "Mom! Did those robots just make a date?"

"Sure sounded like it. But Lord knows, if I didn't see it myself I'd call it pure hokum."

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