LOLA FOREVER // THE VAMPIRE DIARIES

A BRAND NEW LIFE

"And men said that the blood of the stars flowed in her veins."

Text to: Caro Forbez                                                                                                                                                               omw!!! can't wait to see you <3          

                                                                                                                            read; yesterday 9.36 p.m.

I, PALOMA CECILIA ARENDS WAS NEVER MEANT FOR LOVE. I learned this when that boy, I think his name was Alex, kicked me in the face when I was ten, forcing one of my front teeth out of my mouth.

I knew this when my parents were laying on the fluffy white carpet in the living room of our New York apartment. I used to pretend I was a cave woman, lying on the wool of a sheep I had shorn, their blood had turned the wool a nasty color, it smelled like wet dog.

I knew this when my boyfriend thought I had done it, when he testified against me in a court of law. Had he known me this badly all along?

I knew this, yes, but I hoped to forget. For a little while at least.

Today I stand in damp grass, my pale blue heels have sunken into the moist dirt and the blades of grass are tickling the tops of my feet.

The house is nothing like I am used to, all white with a deck to sit on, a large yard, coziness.

It feels like home anyway, from when Caroline and I used to play in this grass, when we were still young and there was nothing to worry about.

I knock on the door, my knuckled playing a rhythm I didn't know I knew. No one answers.

Luckily I remember auntie Liz telling me about a spare key, hidden in the remnants of a birds nest.

There is bird house on the side of the wall, Caroline must have painted it when she was young but the paint has worn off by now, leaving specks of a dusty pink. I reach into the birdhouse carefully, the inside is covered in spiderwebs and dirt but before I can recoil, I feel some twigs, the broken shell of a tiny egg and underneath the hard iron of a key.

The key in the lock turns slowly, and yes I know I control the key, but it feels like the key might have more power over me than I over it. Am I scared of what I'll see? The door creaks and moans like it used to at least. When I step inside my fears melt in the sun, I smell it. It smells like small town and Caroline Forbes, like perfume and the green grass trampled into the welcoming mat, a hint of sweat.

Nostalgia isn't something that comes easily to me, but today it just seems to overwhelm.

There are picture frames standing on the cabinet against the wall, Caroline when she was still so little, wearing a pink princess dress and a gigantic smile.

A picture of Caroline and her dad, when he was still around, they are eating cotton candy, a bit seems to have gotten stuck in Caroline's hair.

A picture of my mom and dad. I pick up the picture and wipe some of the dust off their faces, I hadn't noticed the small candle burning beside it before.

I feel the corners of my lips pulling on my face, the beginning of a smile starts to grow, it isn't large but it's something more. More than it has been for the last couple of months.

I have been working in "at leasts" since the incident. At least they died quickly, at least I didn't, at least I had the money to pay for an attorney. I'm sick of at leasts.