I sat down for a while and got lost in my thoughts.
i was thinking back to the times where i fed off my sadness so that i could actually perceive other feelings than hurt. it was something to numb me from feeling alone. the only way i could speak about it is to let out anger, so i wouldn't have to perceive my sadness, but it was like a target and i would always miss. i always punished myself in the end for it. i felt as if the whole thing was going to be a broken record and my pain was just ineffable and i would never be able to escape. the quote, "hurt people, hurt people," is true, but what hurt the most is feeling like you had no voice, and you were left for being silent, that's when it hit. i felt loneliness and i couldn't escape it. it felt as if walls were surrounding me and they kept getting closer and closer and the room got darker and i tried pushing them away but they wouldn't stop moving. then i saw a single speck of light. i didn't know what it was but i ignored it. suddenly the walls became a maze and i felt as if i was playing hide and seek with the light. one day it came to a stop right in front of me. i reached my hand out and touched it. suddenly i felt epiphany. i realized my whole life was a game of hide and seek. hiding from my pain and seeking for happiness. hide and seek isn't fun if nobody is chasing you. then you found me. and i know this poem has a bit of sappiness because it's ending is filled with happiness, but the one thing i want everyone to learn from this is please do not dismiss your pain, for you should not be ashamed, just for needing a little bit of a flashlight to get through your maze. it's not a race, and you made me understand that, because i'm no longer in pain. Because of you, there is no more rain, and my wound is patched up again, and i am okay.
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Sorry for being gone so long, writers block i guess
