Chapter 45 • Not Going Back

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Mackenzie's POV

I drive down the street, making the various turns to get to the highway, which nobody was really on.

I looked back at everyone, they're still fast asleep, and they won't be waking up anytime soon. I smile to myself and decide to go through with it.

I hit the gas and drive onto the highway, merging into the lane and driving down it. Weaving my way through various semi trucks, cars and other vehicles on the road.

It wasn't too hectic, but it wasn't too empty. It was moderate. The only thing that I heard, besides the cars passing by was the radio playing softly.

Playing whatever Punk Rock song, making me hum softly along to it.

Nobody, and nothing is going to stop me today. I'm not making a U-turn, I'm not going home. I'm going through with this, 110% going through, completely committed to this.

As I drove, I payed attention to my surroundings, making sure I wasn't an asshole to the other drives. Mostly because the last thing I want is a truck to honk the horn and waking everyone up.

This is going to be a long ride.

-

I've been driving for over an hour. I have no idea where we're going, but we're going somewhere. And since they're asleep, nobody is protesting.

I hear some turning and movement in the backseat. And then some groans.

"Are we home yet?" Lexi asked tiredly.

"Um, ya almost," I lied.

They look exhausted. Some of them rubbed their eyes, others stretched. I just prayed to god none of them looked out of the window.

"Mack, where are you taking us?" Lauren asked looking out of the window.

Fuck I thought. "I'm taking us back to Lexi's house," I lied.

"Then why are we on the highway?" Annie asked.

I couldn't think of a lye fast enough. I bit my tongue and shrugged. I'm so dead I thought.

"Mackenzie, where are we going?" Carson asked.

"On an adventure," I say weakly.

They looked like they were just about ready to kill me on the spot. If I wasn't driving or if I was at a red light I think they would've.

"Kenz, turn around, wherever you plan to take us we're not going," Lauren said sternly.

I shake my head no. "Sorry can't do that," I say.

"Why not?" Ashton asked angrily.

"Because we just left Pennsylvania," I say biting my lip, passing the sign saying we entered another state.

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!" They shouted.

"Stop shouting!"

"Mackenzie turn the car around," Johnny said.

I ignore him completely and keep driving. Ignoring their protests for me to turn the car around and head back home. Like I said, nobody is going to stop me.

"Turn the fucking car around!" John yells, leaning over and grabbing the wheel, pulling it to the right.

We swerved so bad, all of us were screaming as I smacked my head into the steering wheel. When we came to a stop, I held my head in pain.

"You okay Kenzie?" Johnny asked softly.

He leans over and moves my hand, looking at my head. It's bleeding slightly and its throbbing.

"It fucking hurts," I mutter.

He leans in the back and grabs a T-shirt, placing it on my forehead. I winced in pain when it made contact with my head.

"Keep this tied around your head. Let me drive, we're going home," he said.

I shake my head yet again.

"Mack, we're going home. We have to," Hayden says.

"No we're not going home!" I shout.

They flinched when I shouted. Probably not expecting me to shout.

"Why not? Why is this so fucking important to you?" Lexi yells.

I stay quiet and shake my head. I don't say anything, I just get out of the car. Slamming the door shut behind me.

They followed me unfortunately. "Don't just fucking leave Mackenzie! Why is going on a stupid fucking trip so important to you?" Lexi shouts.

I close my eyes and keep walking, until someone grabbed me and turned me around. "Don't fucking touch me," I scolded John.

"Answer then fucking question," John said.

"Everything I do to you guys is stupid so why do I even bother?! I shouldn't have to explain myself to you guys. I'm fucking done! I'm done I don't know why I even try anymore!" I shout.

"STOP THIS! You've been acting weird this whole year! Just give us a fucking answer! I hacked into the system and you're the only one out of all of us who hasn't decided on college! Why is that?! Why is it so hard?" Annie explained.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? You hacked into the schools system to look at what college I'm going to?!" I yell.

"You don't tell us anything Kenzie. What are we supposed to do?" Jacob said.

"I don't tell you anything because whatever I say is wrong. Whatever I do is wrong. I don't say anything because what's the point when I'm just going to hear you say shit about it?!"

"Just give us fucking answers. We don't understand why it's so im-" Lexi began.

"IT'S IMPORTANT BECAUSE WE'RE LEAVING!"

They get quiet for once. I take a deep breath and began to explain.

"We're leaving in less than two months. We're going to college, and we're not going to be together anymore. You're going on to better things. Each of you. I haven't decided on a college because I don't know what I'm going with my life. I have zero clue what I'm going to do. There, you know so merry fucking Christmas, you can go criticize me all you want. Go on just fucking do it, I'm used to it. Why do you think my mom called me a disappointment?"

They don't say anything at first.

I just laugh bitterly and shake my head. "I should've tried to kill myself the second time when the first time didn't work," I say.

Then that's when an expression appeared on all of their faces. "You-"

"Yes I tried to kill myself freshmen year! I was done with everything. I knew then I wasn't the important one in the group. I wasn't going to make a difference. So I tried to kill myself," I explain.

They don't say anything. Just stand there shocked.

"Know what, just take the fucking car and go home."

I turn on my heel and start to walk off. Ignoring them protesting for me to comeback. They can go home. I don't care. I'm not going back.

So it's been awhile since the last update and I've been thinking bout wattpad and all. There's some stories I want to write in the worse way but, I don't have the time to write them at the moment.

I may take a break after my stories published are completed.

But very good news I was accepted into my first college with a $5000 scholarship for all four years I attend so I'm really hyped bout that.

Anyways that's all.

Goodnight loves xoxo

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