iridescent ↠ grayson dolan ✓

↠ f i f t e e n

In any other world Lauren would've talked to him with ease. He was very chatty and seemingly perfectly composed- but all Lauren could think about was the hardness of Grayson's eyes when he looked at his brother.

"So I take it you're his girlfriend." Ethan asked all of a sudden. Another attempt at conversation.

"And I take it you're not dead." She retorted.

Ethan's head shot up. "He..." He said, his voice cracking. "-He told you I was dead?"

Lauren shrugged. "He certainly insinuated it."

"I might as well be." He said to himself. "I was horrible to him."

Lauren shook her head. "He loved you more than anything."

"Really now?" Ethan laughed sarcastically.

"Yes, he did. He thought the world of you, I could tell when he spoke about you."

"He thought the world of me." Ethan said bitterly. "And then I went and fucked it up."

Lauren treaded with careful feet. She didn't know if he wanted to talk about it or not. She decided to drop the subject. Ethan was obviously having a bad day already, and she couldn't let her curiosity get the better of her- as much as she wanted to.

"You want to know about it."

"What?"

"You want to know what happened between Grayson and I."

Lauren stared at him. Ethan still hadn't taken his eyes off the hospital floors. "N-no."

"It's okay, Lauren." He said. "I can see that you want to ask."

"Only if you want to talk about it."

Ethan stayed quiet for a little while, opening and closing his mouth a few times as though he was trying to get the proper words out but he never really could.

"Grayson's anxiety caused a rift in my mom and dad's relationship." He said finally, his soft voice barely breaking the defeaning silence.

Lauren looked up in surprise, and noticed Ethan's bottom lip was quivering slightly. She put a hand on his forearm reassuringly.

"Ethan-"

"My mom wanted to send Grayson to a place to get help. My dad wanted him to stay at home. They would argue about it until late in the night, each of them thinking that they knew what was best for him. They tried to speak softly but Grayson and I heard every word. He would cry himself off to sleep most nights. He said he was too much of a problem child."

He talked about it with his eyes closed, like he refused to believe that it happened but he knew that it did. It pained him to speak about it, but he continued.

"They eventually got divorced. Grayson thought it was all his fault. His anxiety started getting worse, to the point where he would black out like he did today. I would try to help and I think I did for the most part but once my dad left suddenly all the pressure was on me. I had to be the man of the family now. I had to go from the boy who sneaks out of the house in the middle of the night while my little brother covers for me to basically stepping up to the role of a father. All this while trying to help Grayson and keep my grades up."

He squeezed his eyelids closed, the pressure causing a tear to roll down his cheek.

"I shouldn't have done it. It was just all too much at the time. I knew I had to run away- get away from all the worries and stress. So in the middle of the night I packed my bags."