Happiness?

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Sometimes I get panic attacks when I think about what might happen after college- or, if I will even make it through college.
I try to drown out my fears by obsessing over mindless things. It never works. It may last for a day or two, but the fear still creeps back into my mind soon after I've found a new obsession.

Sometimes I cry myself to sleep because I can't be the person my parents want me to be- but I will not change myself just to please them. I've spent too long in this life lying to myself about who I am, and I am sure as hell not lying anymore.

Sometimes I get depressed for days on end and I don't want to work or believe that I have friends or think about life- but then I remember that making the choice to be my own person doesn't leave me alone. Family is where you feel safe, not always where you were raised.