last night I got no sleep at all
last night I felt frozen
these friends I have are only my friends
when the time is ripe and ready
I'd sooner and rather
have no one at all
wish I ran with the right crowd
and cried at the right sound
I came to the conclusion last night
with a psalm in my mouth;
that nothing good ever comes
out of sleep deprivation
no sooner had I said this
someone asked me for a favor
someone asks me why I'm quiet
wish I could say this silence
has been productive
I stare at the bleak picture
with no trace of a foreigner in my veins
I see them light matches
I see them tip glasses at youth
and dance like pink monkeys
they said it was trippy
I had no real reason to believe
they knew what they were talking about
some girl goes up to him
smelling like vodka
I wanted to write the right words
realised I could not do it
my heroes stare down in my room in the dark
my friends go out and make love in the dark
I make another excuse
for not joining in and getting some
of that lustful breath of air that everyone
seems to enjoy so much and get so easily
I spent the nights wandering
circling within the confines
of my grey matter, my dark matter
doesn't make matters better or worse
doesn't make it easier or harder
to solve, to crack like an egg
my day littered with anxiety
like eggshells in an omelet
here I stand
no more of a man than you are
nothing short of a ghost and a shadow
and feeling no less lonely
the last man on earth feels so lonely
the last words I heard feel so lonely
this last girl awake feels so lonely
and scared all the time
