Winding Down, a Story by Gilbert Beilschmidt

We Walked the Whole Way Here and Only Now You Tell Me Your Name

    I don't fall in love easy,  it's not my thing. Yes, of course people are constantly getting their underwear soaked whenever I walk past, but hey! It isn't my fault someone up in the heavens decided to make me this amazing, this awesome! 
(Physically, and of course, in every other way as well.) Though, try as I might, my feelings never really started for people, when they did they never festered for much longer than a year. I mean yeah I flirt, watch porn, dote over how adorable my brother's friend Feliciano is. But I've never been in a serious relationship with a 'lover', (that word still disgusts me honestly),  in my entire life. I never needed to, never wanted to have ANYTHING to do with romance or love or, God forbid, marriage.  Or at least  up until three years ago.

It was pretty much a normal day. Autumn, a bit chilly and the forecast predicted a rainstorm coming in later that day. I can't stay in one place for too long, it gets stuffy and boring, as things do, so I decided to go out. My brother Ludwig was trying to talk to me about something that morning,  I can't pinpoint what the specifics were though. Knowing him, and knowing myself it was probably something along the lines of "Where are you going this  time Gilbert? It's going to storm out there you better not be getting into something stupid." Or like, "At least take the dogs out for a bit before I don't get to see you again until dinner." Sometimes it pisses me off how much he acts like he has even a sliver of authority over me, I guess this was one of those times because I remember running out of the house with my tongue clenched in my teeth, cursing under my breath.  I ran a bit, then walked, then ran again. I went all over, I knew pretty much  anything and everything about Berlin of course, I'd spent the majority of my life in these streets. No matter how many times it gets singed or raided or anything like that, I still am going to feel drawn back to it. Same goes for Potsdam, I've noticed. I was at a cross walk when, as if on cue with the dramatic aura  of the day, it started raining. People started scurrying from place to place trying to keep dry, I snickered at it. Like bugs after being revealed from their hiding spot in a rotting log, they cowered back into their cozy hiding spaces and left me out in the street alone with the rain and  that hellish grin of mine stuck on me like  an open wound. She was running  face down from the opposite direction though, probably trying to keep the water out of her eyes. We slammed into each other, I was looking at the sky while she was looking at the ground crap, she knocked the wind right out of me. I stood there coughing and gasping while she was there apologizing like she had just accidentally run over my dog or something, it was funny, so in between my wheezing, I was laughing, which judging by the look in this girls eyes, freaked her out more. Honestly I didn't blame her, there's this big loud white dude in the middle of a famous city while its dark and rainy and your clothes are  sticking to you and hes laughing like a fool, and you ran right into him! " Wheew! Shit, I think you just pulled me back into the living realm! I could've been gone right there and then poof! All hope would be lost." I sighed and looked at her, she still had that nervous look on her face though, "Hey lady, I'm not gonna kill you y'know, Sorry for spacing out but you need to look where you're going."  She said  sorry again but I shook my head. "Never mind." I said, " You seem kinda lost though, I know every inch of this city like the back of my hand, I'll give you directions."  She nodded and told me where she was going, she was completely heading in the wrong direction though, I decided to be her escort then. We talked a bit while heading over. Mostly little things like why she was so lost. She obviously wasn't used to Berlin, she had taken a trip over here with some of her friends from her friends from her college, " We're mostly just here looking for some inspiration for stuff." was the big thing she told me. She was pleasant, like most of the regular people I've seen out and around. I told her a bit about myself too.. nothing too big though. Mostly about me and my brother, the dogs, and how I keep finding little yellow feathers around my room in the mornings. She laughed a bit "You have a little yellow angel coming into your room every night stealing something small, you don't even know what it is yet though," She said. She had a cute voice, cute laugh, all that fun stuff. I didn't think anything about it at the time though, I didn't know how much of a sucker for that voice  I'd become . "It's not only then either! Sometimes I'll just be out and about and I run my fingers through my hair and then there's those soft little yellow feathers!" I laughed then, "You would think I would notice if a bird decided to land on me but I guess not!" She looked over me then, observing almost every detail about my figure, to my hair, storm grey and sticking to my head from the rain to my soaking skinny jeans I threw on this morning. It made me a bit nervous honestly, I had a chill run down my back and I reflexively straightened my posture more, making that face my brother does when hes trying to be Assertive ™. We locked eyes accidentally and I felt my stomach and chest tighten before we both looked away. "Well, you're birdless for now," She said. "Heh, yeah thanks for checking." I turned my head and started walking again, i kept glancing back at her to make sure she kept up. "C'mon, I don't have all day." She alpologized again and ran to catch up. Then there went the awkward silence. "It's pretty cold out huh?" I said. She nodded and there was the silence again. We walked more, I began humming to myself, then she spoke "So, what's with your.. uh... look? I like how your eyes look. How'd you do it?" She looked at me, she caught my eyes again and  I flinched. Trying to play it off, I forced myself to let out a guffaw, she jumped back a bit. "Yeah its pretty cool huh! Not every day you see a man with what? Red and purple eyes? What kind of bullshit cartoon fantasy trope is that right?" I laughed. She wasn't buying it though. There was actually a bit of concern in her eyes. I sighed, "I have this mutation in my eyes,  it makes them all wonky and colorful," I said. "That plus the albinism is a-" I clicked my tounge,  "fffucking grreat combo." I rolled my eyes. She sensed my sarcasm and gave me a little smile. I dare say it was a bit pitiful. " I like it," she said. "It adds good contrast I think." That was the moment I think I might've started falling in love, honestly. That comment hit me hard in the gut. Of course though, being the suave motherfucker that I am,  I took her little complement easy.
"Wow ... really? Shit- I mean yeah.. duh! ThhATS WHY I DON'T WEAR COLORED CONTACTS!"  I laughed again as we went around the next corner and arrived at her destination. "Hey, can I get your phone number or something? You're a pretty cool dude." She said before I  went on my way. "Duh, you know I am." I said before pulling out my phone and giving her the number. "Just put me in as Gilbert, or Gil if the other is too long."  She put in the contact info. She smiled at me and was about to go into the building, but I stopped her just in time. "Hey now! What am I supposed to put you in as?" I asked. "Oh yeah!" She nodded, "My name's (y/n), talk to you later, Gilbert." She waved and ran off. That's it. That's how we met. I stood there in the pouring rain staring at my phonescreen, "Yep, see ya (y/n).." It started thundering then. I bolted the rest if the way back to the house, fighting that tight feeling in my chest. My heart might not have a solid beat, but it was doing something and I didn't like it.  I went home and waited for her to text me. She did and we saw each other again. We got closer, started dating, and just recently uhh... gotten more intimate with each other. There's just something that really draws me to her.