Sweet Heartache

Messed up

They've made me realize that it's okay to let people know of my existence and allow others to appreciate what I can offer. So this time, instead of just letting people go, I decided to give it a try. Because I feel like these boys are worth it.

My knuckles came in contact with Yoongi's door.

"Yoongi, the food's ready."

I leaned my ear to listen if there is any movement inside the room.

Then I decided to knock again.

I can even hear the beating of my heart.

I am getting nervous.

"Yoongi, can I come in?" I asked but still no response. After the third knock, I decided to open the door.

I very well know that I will get into a deep shit trouble for this but I'm ready to take a risk.

I need to talk to him.

I need him.

My eyes closed after I smell his sweet scent.

"Yoongi?"

I said as I slowly enter his room.

Like the last time, his room was so dark, the curtains are close and the room was freezing due to the airconditioning.

My eyes landed on his figure sitting at the corner of his bed.

His cold eyes landed on me...

I gulped.

"Yoongi, please... At least let me explain."

He glared at me.

My heart felt like twisting from the inside.

His eyes seem so empty and it hurts to know that I was the one who causes that emptiness.

And then I saw him smirk, and the glint on his eyes changes.

Is that betrayal that I saw?

"What? I don't need your explanation. Just leave my room please."

My tears are threatening to escape from my eyes.

I can't cry in front of him.

I don't want to seem like the same old crybaby that I am.

"I didn't mean to keep it a secret from all of you, I swear." I tried talking out to him. I took a step closer but his voice echoed inside the room.

"I said I don't care! Leave me alone! Or better yet, leave us all alone!"

I flinched a little at the sound of his voice, his eyes fuming in anger. The hate present on his eyes is burning a hole in my heart and it's killing me.

Why does it feel like it's so hard to breathe?

"Yoongi..." a tear finally escaped my eyes.

He turned his head away from me.

"Please leave."

I bit my lower lip to stop myself from crying more.

I slowly turned around and walked back to the door. But before I can even go out, I looked at him one last time,

"Just know that I had a good time being with you guys... And I'm sorry if you all felt betrayed but please know that it was never my intention."

I looked at him but he's not even listening.

"Yoongi..."

But he didn't dare look back.

My grip on the doorknob tighten and I felt my heart crashing into pieces.

Yes Jennie, it still fucking hurts to be ignored but I guess you deserve it. Like always...

After closing the door, I was startled when I saw Jungkook passing by.

His eyes landed on me and he seems uncomfortable so I nodded to him and went inside my room.

I don't wanna put more burden with the boys.

I moved to my closet and pulled out my clothes.

I guess it's time for me to go back to where I belong.

My tears kept falling while I put my things on my luggage.

Why does it feels like I don't even want to go?

It was already passed midnight when I finished packing and the boys were already inside their room.

I guess this would be the beat time to go to make it less awkward.

I slowly moved my things out of my room, before I closed the door, I took a quick glance on my room.

I remember how Yoongi barged in my room the first time. A smile escaped my lips.

At least I have good memories.

Before I even reached the front door, I was taken aback when someone came out of the kitchen.

Yoongi stopped from his tracks once he saw me. His eyes landed on my bags.

For a second, I thought I saw guilt and confusion seeping through his eyes.

"Ahmm, I'm moving back," I said as I break the silence between the two of us.

He did not respond. Instead, he just walked past me and I swear I heard my heart breaking the million times this day.

"Leave the key."

I heard him say before he went inside his room.

"Of course..." I said to myself.

I left the key on the table. Once I went out of the front door, I looked back and stared at the door I just came out with.

Those times we shared, those memories, do those don't really meant anything for you?