Well, here goes. Seeing as I literally have no friends, I might as well vent here, no one will ever read it anyways. I'm all alone now. My last two friends are gone. One moved, the other.... We've just both changed, and now we're barely acquaintances now. Remember when we said we be friends forever? So much for that plan.
I hate myself to the point of feeling nauseous when I look in the mirror. My mom thinks it helps me when she lies and says I'm beautiful, says I'm skinny, smart, talented... But all the lies do is hurt. If I really was... I might not be alone rn. I wish I could just lie here forever and never move again
I know everyone says "oh, you're just sad." Or "it's just a feeling, it'll pass." Is it? It really feels like more than that.... I've been sad to long for this to be normal. I can't go a day without breaking down anymore. My friends think I don't go to camp cuz I'm busy, but I just don't want to break down in front of them. You never understood, you never will...
I always try so hard, have a big smile on my face all the time. Always support everyone else. Never complain. You'd think someone would be grateful.... But they just get bored and leave me Fucking behind again. Why... I know I'm terrible, inside and out, so I actually probably deserve this to be honest....
I've done so many things I can't ever tell anyone... Things I messed up just like everything else. I can't even cut myself right, I'm too weak. Why am I so weak, so.... Ignorant, fragile, stupid, ugly, fat, disgusting... Why can't I just die......
