I looked at my newly added poster and I felt the smile spreading on my face. These five boys had saved my life and they were totally perfect. Niall, Harry, Zayn, Liam and Louis. "Emily!" my mother called breaking my thought. "Get down here right now before you are late for school!" I grabbed my ipod and my backpack and ran down stairs. When I got down stairs I tried to rush out the door before my mother could say anything to me. Too slow. "Emily, it's 85 outside. Why are you wearing a long sleeve shirt?" she asked me this question all the time. "I'm cold and I didn't really have any clean short sleeve shirts." I lied. Honestly, I just didn't want anyone to see my cuts. I ran out the door without grabbing breakfast and got into my car. I forgot my keys inside so I got out of my car and ran back in to grab them. My mother didn't know I came back in so I quickly left. I started my car, plugged my ipod in and loudly played More Than This by One Direction. I sang along to every word and by the time the song ended, I was at school. I got out and right when I walked in the building my best friend Katie ran over to me and gave me the biggest hug. She was the only one who knew I cut, had tried killing myself and was depressed because she cut and she was depressed too. We shared a love of One Direction and just about everything else. She was glad to see I was still alive. "Hello beautiful" Katie said. I smiled in return. We had caught up on what happened over the weekend. She pulled up my sleeves and saw my shredded arms. She has gone 2 years without cutting but I still do it nearly every night. "Em, you are too good for that. I love you and you know you can always talk to me. I know it is hard to stop and everything but you have too. You are too pretty and I don't want to see you go through this anymore." she said to me. "Well obviously I'm not because I still get bullied. My father is still dead and I still have pain. If I was too pretty for it then I wouldn't be single. It doesn't matter anyway. I will be fine." I replied. I went through the whole day hardly paying attention in any of my classes. One Direction songs kept replaying in my head. When I got to my 5th period class I was getting really hot. The air wasn't on in school so it was hotter than usual. I hadn't had anything to drink all day so in 6th period, I passed out. I was sitting doing my work and then I fell out of my chair on to the floor. The next thing I knew I was in the nurse's office and Katie was sitting next to my bed. I took the glass of water and drank the whole thing. "How long until we go home?" I asked. "Ten minutes. Emily you need to stop this. You passed out in class. You have to stop cutting, you have to drink a lot of water and you need to eat 3 full meals every day. The nurse told me to give this to you and I have to sign it every day for proof. He only knows you don't eat what you should and you don't drink enough. I want the best for you so i called your mom and told her to make sure you eat breakfast and dinner every night." I looked at the paper she handed me and it had boxes asking what I ate and at what time for every day of the week. This was over the top. "HA! There is no way I am eating 21 full meals each week. 7 is enough." I said to Katie. She gave me this evil look. "Oh god alright I'll do it." I said quickly. She took her brown hair and put it up in a pony tail. So easy and quick and it fell down just below her shoulders. Her hair was so much nicer than my nasty brown hair that never cooperated. Everything about her was better than me. I wanted to look like her. She was perfect and I was ugly. I don't know why she likes me and cares about me as much as she does. Just then the bell rang and it was time to go home.
I drove home blaring my music and when I got home I ran right up to my room, changed, turned my music on and got in my bed. I turned One Direction on and put it on replay. I looked at all of my posters and smiled. Slowly I drifted off to sleep. I woke up to my mom pounding on my door trying to get in but failing because I locked it. I saw the clock saying 6:30 p.m and then quickly put a sweatshirt on. "What do you want mother?" I asked her. "It's time for dinner and you need to come down and eat." I groaned and followed her down the stairs. During dinner she tried talking to me. "Emily, what's going on with you lately? You are wearing long sleeve shirts when it's 90 out and you haven't been eating like you should and now you are passing out in class. What's going on?" She just looked at me waiting for an answer. I just kept eating my food. "ANSWER ME EMILY!" she yelled. I jumped and looked at her. "I'M FAT MOM. I HATE EATING BECAUSE I WAS FINALLY GETTING SKINNIER AND IT'S NOT LIKE I STOPPED EATING COMPLETELY!" tears started falling from my eyes. "I WEAR LONG SLEEVE SHIRTS BECAUSE I HAVE SCARS ON MY ARMS THAT I DIDN'T WANT ANYONE TO SEE. IT'S BEEN 3 YEARS MOM! EVER SINCE DAD DIED THINGS HAVEN'T BEEN THE SAME. THAT'S WHY I PASSED OUT! BECAUSE OF THESE!" I lifted my sleeves and she gasped. I ran back to my room crying and not bothering to finish my food. I slammed the door shut and locked it. I fell on my bed and put my music back on. I can't believe I just told my mom all of that. I needed to do something with my life. This needed to stop. I grabbed my phone and texted Katie. She would be the one to help me. Only she can do it. After I texted her, I fell asleep and didn't wake up until the next morning. I did my usual routine and drove to school. Katie and I talked and the day went as usual. When I got home that afternoon I thought of something. I went online and found the address for One Direction fan letters. After I found it I typed out a letter. It read:
To my lovely boys,
To start, my name is Emily. I have been your biggest fan since July 23rd, 2010. I thought you guys should have definitely won the X Factor. Well there is one reason and one reason only why I am writing this letter. You five boys have saved my life. I have tried killing myself twice before but i haven't tried since I first ever heard you sing. Everyday I go through the pain of my dad being gone forever and the pain that everyone bullies me like crazy. I cut nearly every night and I cry myself to sleep every night. I have stopped eating everything except breakfast to lose weight. Every day, no every second, I listen to your music. It helps get me through the day. All five of you make my life worth something. The only thing I want is for you to send a letter back to me. My goal one day is to meet you guys because I love you. But for now, if I get a letter back I will be the happiest girl ever. I love you guys so much.
Love, Emily.
I sent the letter and I could only hope for a reply.
