Together by faith

Chapter 12.

I was pacing back and forth in my room, trying to calm myself down. Maybe Alexander was right. I shouldn't work tonight, not after everything that have happened to me these last days. What if some douche at the nightclub decided to punch me again? I don't know if I can handle more pain at the moment. I could hear the TV from the living room and I know that if I went out there, I would find Alexander sprawled across the couch. Trust me, I feel slightly better that we know a lot more about each other now than we did before, but at the same time, it feels even worse. I mean, I don't know how Alec really feel about all of this. What if he thinks that I'm, or that my mother killed herself because of me? I know that he never would blame her death on me, he have made that clear, but sometimes it's hard to fully trust people. I don't know for how long time I just walked around, but seconds/minutes/hours later, I decided that I had to go to the nightclub anyways. No matter what, I really need the money so I can buy my own apartment. It's not that I don't like living with Alexander, because I really do. I just don't like the feeling that I'm disturbing him. I have never really lived with anyone else than Raphael so I can't say that my social skills are perfect. Sure, I have noticed that Alexander stutters a lot, which probably means that he's just as nervous as I am, but I don't know. I can't read people. I don't know if Alec really likes my company or like I've said before, if he just pitying me. Anyways, I decided to take a quick shower to try to calm my nerves. About 20 minutes later, I was back in my room, this time fully dressed in a pair of black jeans and a grey sweater that I usually wore when I had a shift down at the nightclub. It didn't make me look way too fancy, which made me feel a lot more comfortable because I didn't want some loser to hit on me just because I dressed up too good. When I was done and felt satisfied with my look, I walked into the living room and found Alec just like I had imagined, sprawled across the couch, watching TV.
- Hey, I said and sat down at the other side of the couch
- Hey, are you ready for work? He asked
- Honestly? I don't know
- Magnus, if you're not ready to go back to work and continue with your life like nothing have happened, you don't have to, Alec said and looked at me
- I know, but like I said before, I really need money
- Fine. Can you promise me one thing?
- Of course, I answered
- If anything goes wrong, and I mean anything, you'll call me
- Alexander
- No, I'm serious. Call me, he said
- Okay, I promise
- Thank you
We sat together in silence for a while before I looked at the clock and realised that I had to get going. I said goodbye to Alec and 10 minutes later, I was on my way to the nightclub. When I arrived, I collided with one of my colleagues, Clary. She was a 18 years old girl with ginger coloured hair. I don't really have anything against Clary, it's just, she can be a little bit too much sometimes.
- Hi, Magnus. How are you doing? She asked and smiled at me
- I'm fine. What about you?
- I've never been better. Remember about that guy I told you about last week? Jace? Well, we're dating now, Clary said
- That's wonderful, I answered
Honestly? I wasn't really listening to her. I had enough to think about at the moment, like the constant pain from my whole body. Seriously, it felt like I was going to explode any minute. I went over to the bar where I had my 5 hours shift. As long as no one tried to hit on me or start a right, it wasn't that awful. There was a couple of people that I really didn't like though that usually came to the nightclub. For example, this chick named Camille. God, she's the worst. We had a one night stand some months ago and she really thought we were going to be something more serious. Then of course, when I told her that "us" weren't going to happen, she freaked out. Trust me, I have never seen someone that mad before. She started yelling at me, telling me that I was a whore who deserved to die. I can't say that I deserve it because maybe I didn't handle the situation that good, but she was the one who started throwing a fit about it all. Now, Camille usually comes down to the nightclub only to make out with random strangers in front of me. I'm not really impressed though. Like I said before, I'm not interested in having a relationship with anyone. Well, that was until I met Alexander. Now I don't know. Another person that comes down to the nightclub only to make my life even more miserable is a guy named Luke. He's somehow related to Clary, and his favourite thing in the world is to fuck around with me. I can't really say that he's mean, because he really isn't. Luke is just extremely annoying and he always tries to get free drinks because he knows Clary. Anyways, I had worked for about two hours and so far, no one has tried to take me home. Well, not yet. I was so focused on watching Clary discussing something with some random guy, that I didn't even notice that someone was talking to me. When I turned around, I met eyes with the last person on earth that I wanted to talk to, Camille.
- Hello there, Magnus. Slept with more girls lately? She asked and laughed
- Go away, Camille
- Bitch please. Don't pretend like you don't want to talk to me. I know that you want me, Mags
- I want you to leave me alone, I answered
- Sorry honey, but that's not really an option. How about we go somewhere private instead? She asked and smiled that disgusting smile of hers
- No
- Such a buzzkill, Magnus. What happened to you? Back in the days you used to be fun
- Why don't you go and make out with some random guys instead, Camille? I answered and felt how I started to get extremely irritated
- Why, are you jealous?
- Never in a million years
- You know what? You don't deserve to live. You broke my heart all those months ago. Why don't you just kill yourself? No wait, I forgot that you already tried. Aren't you such a worthless human being? You can't even kill yourself, Camille said and laughed out loud
- Get away from me, I almost screamed and tried to pull myself together
I could not afford to get fired. Not from one more job. I had to handle this like a professional bartender.
- Whatever. I didn't love you anyways. I mean, why would I? You're ugly, Camille answered and thereafter, she left
I felt how my breathing started to hatch, but I wasn't going to cry. Not here, not now. I'm stronger than this. I know I am. I didn't care about Camille anyways. She was just a one night stand to forget all about my miserable life.
- Why are you even talking to her? Clary's voice asked and when I turned around, she stood beside me
- Honestly? I have no idea. She just won't leave me alone, I answered
- Well, I'm surprised. I didn't think that she was your type
- She's not, I said
- Whatever you say, Mags
Clary walked away and once again, I was alone. Well, not really alone. The nightclub was crowded with drunk people who danced around, screaming and grinding on each other. One of the negative things about being a bartender, is that I actually have to talk to people. Fine, it's not the most advanced conversation, but it's still a conversation. 3 hours later I was finally done. The clock was almost 2am and I don't think I ever missed my bed this much before. I grabbed my jacket and started walking back to Alexander's dorm. It was dark and if I'm going to be honest, I was a little bit scared to walk back home alone, but I didn't really have any other option. 30 long minutes later, I was back in the dorm and ready to fall face first on my bed. I tried to be as quiet as possible when I walked across the living room floor to my room, but I realised that it really didn't matter since I found Alexander siting awake in front of the TV.
- Haven't you moved since I left? I asked and laughed
- Dammit Magnus. You scared me to death, he answered and placed one of his and over his heart
- I'm sorry, Alec
- It's fine and no, I haven't moved since you left. I've been watching this amazing show on Netflix and I guess that I lost track of time, he answered
- Sounds legit
- What about you? How was work? Alexander asked
- Handful, I answered and sat down beside him on the couch. This time a lot closer than earlier this morning
- What happened?
- This girl, Camille, she came up and talked to me for about 10 minutes. Trust me, she's the worst, I answered
- Let me guess, one of your one night stands? Alec said carefully
- Oh yeah, but unfortunately, she didn't really understand what a one night stands really means
- Girls, they're hopeless
- Tell me about it, I answered and laughed
He's right. Girls can be a lot of work sometimes, especially Camille. But when it comes to Alec, everything's different. He's special, I guess.
- Well, we should probably sleep, shouldn't we? At least one of us has classes tomorrow
- You're right, I answered
Alec turned off the TV and the both of us, stood up from the couch. We said our goodnights and thereafter, we took our separate ways into our rooms. I changed into my pyjamas and laid down on the bed. Jesus, I haven't been this exhausted in what feels like forever. Trust me when I'm saying this, I fell asleep in only a couple of seconds

One more update today because I think you all deserves it and I'm really excited about this book😇

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-Mathilda