Pent up

And the meeting

When go get out of the car and walk up to the door, I keep my eyes down on the ground, following the lines of the pavement. It's at this moment that I notice my sneakers where covered in dried mud and where looking quite old from all the use.

Great! How could you not notice you put on your most awful looking shoes! This is ridiculous, now they're gonna think you look like... whatever. It's fine, right? Breathe...

I hear some knocking, it's Clara, I suppose, letting her folks know we have arrived, and I don't know why, but the rush of blood in my ears just doesn't seem to stop. I cling to my sleeves and tug on them as I hear shuffling on the other side of the green painted wooden door, and when it flies open I release my bottom lip from my teeth, having been biting on it since about halfway here.

"Well, look who's here!" The laughter fills the air as the very similar looking women hug, the blood that was rushing on my head suddenly stoping, dropping to my feet and I start feeling lightheaded. "Who's this dashing young man?"

The petite and tired looking woman turns to me and all of a sudden the mud on my shoes is much more interesting than anything.

"This is Joshua" A pinch in my back has me straightening back up and flushing with embarrassment, the younger of the pair encasing me in a side hug "My boyfriend. Josh, this is my mother, Cristina"
"Ah! So this is him!" She winks at me and all I can do is smile awkwardly back. In response, her younger self stomps and glares at her mother, the other just giggling "Nice to meet you. Please, come in"

I hesitate, feeling dizy, but I step through with Clara in tow, and shake Cristina's hand as I force a smile. "Hello"
She stares at me for a second before chuckling and turning in her heel, exiting the room and going into another, leaving us to ourselves.

"What is going on, baby?" She furrows her uneven brows and once again my teeth find their way to chew on my lip again "why so stiff? You've been so quiet the whole way here!"
She shakes me by the shoulders and I look her in the eye as I let out a shaky breath
"Don't know, babe. Let's just...sit"

I follow her mom into what appears to be the kitchen and I notice her turn to look at me with wide eyes.

So, this is the kitchen! Great. So, no sitting...

"N-need help?" She opens her eyes impossibly wider as I myself take a plate from her hands and she squeaks
"Right, darling... Go put that on the table" she tries to regain some composuture back, as she was clearly shaken by my actions, but I just ignore everything and head back into the small entryway, plate still in hand.

Clara is nowhere to be seen, and there's a wall that impedes the small older woman from seeing me just standing here, so I take the opportunity to just think for a while.

What the hell, dude. Breathe.

The food on the plate is simple but looks tasty, filled with spices and different herbs. I can feel my mouth water a little.

Yeah, see? Food is nice. Her mom is nice. The house is cozy. Everything is fine so, what's the problem? Really. We've been through this, there is nothing to be scared about. You love Clara, right? There's no way you could fuck this up. It's just lunch with Clara's mom and dad, a little chat about your life to get them to see that you're a nice man that loves their daughter and that wants to make her happy and... that you have a future together and that you want- to be a part of the family... Nothing much.

"What are you doing there, dear?" Cristina now speaks to me in a soft, comforting voice and I relax the slightest bit as walks to me with two more plates in hand, ushering me to what appears to be the dining table, which is empty. "They will be down soon, you can sit"

See? She likes you already! Maybe... or maybe she's just being nice, but anyways everything is fine! Clara loves you, you love Clara and the food looks great and everything will be alright. She's the one for you, dude. Not long until the 1 year anniversary and she clearly wants to stay together for long, since she brought you to meet her parents. Everything is fine.

"Dear, you can sit down" I can see Clara's mom is weirded out and has a little pity in her eyes, maybe she can see I'm freaking out on the inside, but she says nothing about this.

It's when two more people enter the room that I finally snap out of my stupor, and realize that I'm standing by one of the entryways, holding a plate in my hands and just staring into nothingness.

How weird must that look, God.

"Ah, yes. Thank you" I stumble a little as I walk too quickly to the table, and all pair of eyes on the room follow my every movement as I pull out a chair and almost drop the chicken to the floor as I'm putting the plate down. "Sorry"