confessions

my offenses so far

Im an Idiot, After gaining some trust I felt to comfortable with her I went into her personal space. I am afraid I'll do it again and I wont mean to. Im stupid, She hated me after regaining trust I triggered her, I didnt mean to i was scared I watch what I say as hard as I can cause I never what to trigger her again. Im lost, I have problems finding where to place her in my heart in fact Ive never felt better but my heart was shrivled so long I'm not use to being happy. I'm ugly, everytime I turn her on I turn her off I say the wrong thing or remind her of someone else I miss read something and I hurt her, I hate myself for it. I am a worthless garbage, I try not to fuck up but I do I try opening I choose the wrong time, I didnt hear her and now I'm garbage, I never want to cause her stress but I'm learning I'm trying I am not a man I cried infront of her and got upset when she confided it in a friend a man doesnt cry he stands but I was weak and I trusted her. She made a joke and I was triggered and she hurt me I should be a man and not get triggered but I trust her and I briefly flashed to searing pain. Im not a good person even though she says I am but im learning and trying, and if I get a chance ill prove im sweet, caring and that I love her .