The Honeymooners

Twenty-two. Enzo and Goodbyes

If words could kill.

Enzo drops his gaze. "I wanted to meet my wife."

Mum narrows her eyes. "How did you even know we would be here?"

"Erm, my sister. Am and her saw each other before you left for the cruise. We weren't sure what day you were coming back, so, I've been coming here everyday for this past week just in case you turned up."

Wait, what now?

"You waited for the ship to turn up?"

"Yes," he nibbles on his lip in a nervous fashion. "I stayed over at an old buddies house to be closer. I was petrified of missing you."

I cross my arms over my chest. "Where's dad's car?"

Enzo's face grows paler. "All the damage is fixed. I took it to a vintage car specialist in Southhampton last week. It looks brand new again. Even the paint they used is the same as the original. It's back at your mum's house. I covered it with tarpaulin because I couldn't get into the garage, of course."

I nod, my heart healing a fraction. It's fixed, dad. "Good."

I look at mum. "You ready to go?"

Mum smiles at me. "Yes, love. You okay to get in the car?"

"I'll help," Enzo rushes forward, grabbing my arm.

I wriggle out of his embrace. "Don't touch me. Go away."

Enzo backs up a fraction, raising his hands in the air. "Am?"

I slide into the car seat, letting mum put my crutches on the back seats. "Not right now, Enzo."

"Can I come to see you tomorrow then? Are you going back to the apartment?"

"I'll be at mum's house," I start to close the door. "Be there after lunch."

Who is this demanding woman?

I know he's staring at me through the car window, but I try to ignore him. My seatbelt buckles in, and then mum suggests a take-out lunch, discussing which one we'll choose while out on the road.

〰〰〰

One pm comes around far quicker than I wanted it to do. Enzo is sat across from me, twisting his fingers together, his wedding ring catching the light coming in from the conservatory doors. Mum is upstairs, answering her work emails, telling me they've piled up over the two weeks we've been away.

I stare at the man I adore, wondering how we got to this point. Should we have waited longer to get married? Should I have put my foot down more? Should I stop expecting so much from people?

I swallow the fireball lodged in my throat and want to cry for what I'm about to say. "I need a break."

Enzo's eyes push up to stare at me. "A break from what?"

I swizzle my rings around my finger, struggling to get the words out. "Everything. I need to press pause for a minute and find out what I really want in life."

"Without me?" he responds, eyes glowing with tears.

My head lowers, not able to see his upset. "I think you need this break too. You need to find out what you really want...I don't think you're over Violet."

Enzo falls forward off the sofa and crawls on his knees towards me. "I've cut all ties with Violet. I don't want her. I never wanted her when I had you. What happened was a terrible mistake. I didn't know what I was doing or saying."

I chance a look at him and feel my entire world crumbling. Destroyed, is one word I'd use to describe his expression. "Then maybe you don't realise it. I saw the connection you both share. I tried to ignore it, but it's so obvious. The way you left me wasn't fair. Imagine if I'd have done that with an ex on our honeymoon."

Enzo puts his hands over mine. "I regret everything. If I had my time again, I'd take you to Barbados and let you splash out. All I wanted was to show you my old life. I love you so much that I wanted for you to be a part of me."

My lip wobbles. "You hurt me so much it's hard for me to even look at you. It's too raw."

Enzo squeezes my fingers. "I'm sorry. So, so, sorry. You have to believe me. I'd do anything to make it up to you."

"Then let me leave you," I say, sucking in a staggered breath. "Let me do this. I feel like I need it."

Enzo makes a sobbing noise. "No, no, I can't do that, Am. I just can't. Please don't make me."

"You have to let me. It's the only way."

Enzo reaches out for my face, pulling me so I see into his heartbroken eyes. "I will never give up on you. I made some mistakes. But, I can make this right. You're my soulmate, you hear me?"

I inch back, but he holds me still, foreheads touching. "What can I do? Tell me and I'll do it," he whimpers, "I'll do anything for you not to leave me."

"Give me space," I whisper.

"For how long?" he says, keeping our faces close to each other.

How long is a piece of string? I sigh. "I don't know how long. And, I don't want to guess. We rushed into getting married when we should have waited it out. I was so swept up in the fairytale of my happy ever after that I didn't see the cracks. I don't think I'm the woman you should be married to, Enzo."

"Yes, you are," he sniffs hard, and it occurs to me that it's the only time I've seen him properly cry.

"I'm not. Don't you see? It's why you subconsciously thought about Violet. It's why you sabotaged my dad's car, even if it wasn't intentional. You feel the divide between us too."

"I don't know what to say to get you to change your mind. I'll tell you I love you for forever. I'll crawl on my knees and beg. I'll give away everything I have if it means I have you," says Enzo, sounding desperate.

I manage to get out of his tight embrace and start to pace around the living room, seeing Enzo curl up into a ball. Heavens, he's making this incredibly difficult. All I want to do is wrap my arms around his body and tell him it's okay. But, I won't. He hurt me. And, I'll do well to remember it.

"I have a scan next week. I want you to be there. It's going to be a special moment."

Enzo rubs his fingers all over his face, sitting up to watch me. "I wouldn't miss it for the world. Maybe, I could take you for lunch afterwards?"

I shrink back into my shell. "I wouldn't feel comfortable doing that so soon. I don't think that you should miss out on this pregnancy. The baby is what should be most important to us now."

"I can't believe I've lost you," he says, looking like he's trying to catch his breath.

I tilt my eyes to the ceiling to stem the tears. "I'd like for you to leave now."

Enzo does as I ask, stumbling onto his feet. "When's the scan?"

I cross my arms over my chest. "Tuesday at half past ten."

"I'll be there," he says, staggering from the room and it isn't until the door slams that I fall to the floor and sob my heart out.

...

Thank you for reading! ❤️❤️❤️