His Last Chance: A short story

Last Chance

Screams, fire and death; blood ran in the streets like water. Bodies littered the ground. Swords dripped with blood. Gore stained maces, shields, and armor. Guarin was once again killing her. The little girl. He had just dispatched her mother and was ready to kill her. His sword swung. She screamed. The next second another body was added to the numbers of the dead. Fire and death. This was how they worshiped their god. Salvation in exchange for the death of the infidel.

Guarin awoke with a start, he looked down expecting his hands to be covered in blood. The blood of the innocent: the blood of the enemy. His mind went back to Maarat al-Nu'man, and the slaughter. All of those people dead;men, women and children. He didn't want to remember the other things that happened there.

"It's to save the holy land. This is what God would want. It's a redemption for sin." His mind argued. This was the ongoing battle inside of Guarins head. His church told him one thing, but his mind told him another.

He remembered how wonderful the crusade sounded when he sat in a prison cell, sentenced for life. The Priest had come in and preached how the crusade gave them a chance at forgiveness for all of their sins. He would be pardoned. To rescue the Holy Land from the infidel would be a great deed, and he would be forever pardoned in the eyes of God.

Forever Pardoned. The thought filled his mind. It was his drive. He had lasted this long because of it. He was one of the twelve thousand people left; they had set off with thirty thousand. Three years of death and destruction had reduced their numbers. Three years of violence for an eternity in the paradise of Heaven. Guarin wondered if there was any other way to gain salvation for himself. Violence seemed the only thing he was good at.

Guarin got up off of his mat on the dirt and went outside his tent. The waning moon shone brightly at near half. He lit the lamp that hung on on a post then sat near his tent. The air stank of filth; the waste of the animals, the soldiers, and the smell of smoke. He hardly noticed it after three years and breathed in deeply searching for a fresh air. The moon was high in the sky, and reaching up towards it were the siege towers.

When they had arrived they wondered how they were going to scale the fifty foot walls of Jerusalem. They had prayed for a means to get inside the city; God had granted them one. Guarin didn't know how but they had gotten wood enough to build two siege towers. They were nearly finished and would be ready for battle by the next evening.

Exhaustion was heavy on Guarins eyelids. He found trying to sleep more exhausting that being awake. He knew he needed to try and sleep again; he had only slept for a few hours. He decided to try and sleep again and turned back to his tent. He was stopped by a voice.

"Guarin. May the Lord bless you." Guarin turned to see a monk. His shape faded into the night because of his brown robes.

"And may the Lord bless you, Brother Thomas. What brings you out this late?" Guarin inquired bowing slightly.

"I find that under the light of the stars is where I can best speak to our Lord. The shining stars connect me to the heavens." He looked up at the sky and Guarin followed suit. The stars glittered and shone "Proof that the Messiah has a hand in our world" Brother Thomas smiled.

"Indeed" Guarin agreed solemnly. He didn't want to have whatever conversation that was going to ensue. He just wanted to see if he could get some sleep.

"Do you think this Crusade is of God?" Brother Thomas inquired as he stepped forward into the light of the flickering lamp. Guarin new this day would come. Many had seen his hesitation at Maarat al-Nu'man. Guarin did not know how he felt about the acts of his compatriots. They had killed everyone in their path, men, women, and children. It didn't matter the age or sex. They all died. At first he had joined in the bloodbath anxious for some action. They had wasted time; stayed too long at Antioch and he had thirsted for blood. However his conscience had gotten the better of him and he stopped.