all night | josh beauchamp

[ six ]

Jillian's PoV

i laughed while looking at the view at Santa Monica Pier. Brandon and I walked hand in hand, having the time of our lives. well, maybe he wasn't. but at least i knew i was. we walked in silence after our laughter had died down and i took in everything that was happening.

wow. i have a boyfriend. i live in LA now. i'm in college. i get to dance alongside my biggest inspirations. i'm living the dream and now, i found myself wondering if i was in love with the guy walking right next to me. what exactly does it feel like to be in love? i'm 17 and Brandon was my very first boyfriend. but taking from what i was feeling at that moment, the amount of happiness that was overflowing out of me, i thought that there was a very big chance of me being in love.

"whatchu thinking about, G?"

"stuff," i shrugged and smiled sheepishly, leaning closer to him.

he released his hand from my grip and wrapped his arm around me and i immediately felt his warmth over my body.

"what stuff ?" he mocked me.

"things i'm grateful for. where i am right now."

"i've been thinking about things too."

"what kind of things?"

"life. family. you."

i immediately felt chills flowing from under my spine and slowly making its way to the back of my neck.

"i really like you, you know that?"

"yeah, i kinda figured, otherwise you wouldn't be dating me — ," i laughed.

" - i really like you too. you're one cool egg and you know, i guess you're kinda cute."

we walked in silence the rest of our walk and he walked me home. it felt nice, to know or at least think that you were liked and maybe even loved by someone you truly cared about.

-
i woke up the next day to the beautiful and pleasing sound of my phone's alarm going off. school. why are you doing this to me? i have never done anything bad to you and you give me all this bullshit, i frowned to myself. i need to get ready. and to learn how to fucking control my mouth and stop talking to myself. yeezus.

i brushed my teeth and put on an outfit that i picked out the day before. i wasn't too confident with my body so i have this template of outfits that i would wear over and over again. shirt, skirt, sneakers. shirt, leggings, sneakers. never a crop top. never jeans. i know i'm not perfect but sometimes i really get frustrated with myself about how i looked but i've just been whining about the same thing for three years and never really did anything about it, until now so i guess i couldn't really blame anyone but myself.

as soon as i got ready, i left my apartment and headed to class. getting into the elevator, i plugged my headphones in the earphone jack of my phone and blocked the whole world out when i suddenly got a text from Josh, asking if we could hang out later on that day. immediately, i smiled to myself looking at the text and responded with a "sure! what time and where?" as quickly as i could.

my day then went on with me listening to every class' lecture while some part of me couldn't help but look forward to and be excited to meet up with Josh later on that day.

— written on 12/12/17

IM BACK FROM THE DEAD BIHH. sorry for being super super inactive yall. i tend to doubt the stories i write after the couple of chapters i release but hopefully i can continue this book :) comment down below if you're an active reader bc i really wanna know how many of y'all i got 💓 IF UR READING UP TILL HERE KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU AND I THANK YOU SO MUCH

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