anxiety.

too much

AN//I don't know if anxiety attacks are a sensitive topic to some ppl but,,,,here's your warning if the title wasn't enough of a warning for ya



Jay was doing his regular nightly routine on a Tuesday...scowling around for criminals out in the alleyways of Ninjago City. It wasn't fun at all. Well, at least to Jay. Jay didn't bode well with crowds...especially during the night hours. And there were a lot of crowds at night. He didn't know how to explain why he felt this nervous hatred for it. Just whenever he was stuck in a crowd with no real way out, he couldn't just push his way out or ask people to get out of the way. He had to deal with it because nothing would come out of his throat and his muscles would never act. And dealing with it led to him panicking. Jay didn't know why his heart would jump even at the thought of a large mass of people around him! It just did!

Jay huffed and shook his head, trying to get his train of thought on the tracks to something else. He had to focus on his duty as a ninja right now, it was incredibly important to the city that he did this efficiently. Jay took off in a sprint down one of the many alleyways, his eyes darting wall to wall. He needed something to keep his attention on.

Before he could actually find anything of interest so he could let his mind wander on other topics, he slid to a stop, finding himself at the entrance of the alleyway. Right in front of him was a parade. It seemed like festival kind of parade with people dressed up with the most incredibly flashy outfits he has seen all year. He was admiring the outfits before something seemed to stab him right in the stomach. He remembered what parades basically were. A huge group of people in one area tightly fitted together to stay on the road. His brown eyes widened and he stepped back. The lights from the festival themed parade grew brighter after he realized this fact, and every voice around him became louder. The cheering of people on the side of the streets, the people walking in the parade singing, everything was so loud. It was getting so intense for Jay. The brunette boy shook his head and grabbed at his hood.

"Focus Jay! Focus! You just need to get to the other side of town. It'll be calmer there!"

Jay thought back to his mother's words one time he had a similar problem like the one he was currently facing. She always told him to breathe. A long breath in, holding it, and then letting it go through his mouth, as if he was blowing out candles on a birthday cake. Jay attempted to do exactly that; breathing in and out. It took him a few breaths with tightly shut eyes to get his composure back.

"Ok...You can scale the building and go over the power lines..." He told himself. He gently opened his eyes, immediately looking at the brick wall across from him to avoid looking at the screaming crowds on the street. Jay knew he could do this. He wasn't going to be a kid and run from his problems. He was going to work through this, even if it killed him.

Jay huffed and jumped onto the brick wall with his hands touching the wall first, then his foot. He then leapt to the other wall side using his other foot and still keeping his arms at the ready. He repeated this until he reached the top of the building he was originally looking at. Jay crouched down in the shadows of the rooftop. He needed to make sure that nobody could see him. After he was sure the coast was clear, he stood back up and started a stroll on the top of the building.

"Hey, how's the city doing?" A voice yelled out. Jay jumped, his heart skipping a beat. It didn't take him long to realize it was just his communicator that he kept on his wrist. He rolled up his sleeve a bit and brought his wrist up near his face.

"It's...busy for sure." Jay answered.

"Need any 'backup'?"

Jay sighed. "No, no that's not necessary...I-I'll be ok."

"Your voice crack says otherwise."

"Cole...I can do this!"

The communicator went silent for a minute, giving the thought to Jay that Cole must've hung up.