First Dates

four: left for dead

She rolls her eyes, "No, this is Wyatt, he lives across the road. He's Tiffany's brother." At the mention of Tiffany, Wyatt is reminded of the argument in the morning involving her and Adam. Once she'd stopped shouting and came back downstairs with the empty plate which once held a sandwich, she said that she hoped it gave Wyatt the incentive to make some better friends.

Wyatt was tempted to say the same, remembering Tiffany leading those two creepy girls to his car door. But, he'd kept his mouth shut so as not to anger the beast.

"Tiffany is such a bitch," he grunts. His eyes widen as he looks back at Wyatt, as though he's just registering that her older brother is in the same room as him, after he's readily insulted his little sister. "S-Sorry, dude," he stammers, looking at Wyatt nervously.

Although he may look big and buff, there is not a violent bone in Wyatt's body. He rolls his eyes, shrugs his shoulders and makes a face. "It's cool." He tells Connie's brother. But Wyatt is not gonna lie, watching him get so scared was definitely entertaining.

"Alright," Connie interrupts, reading ahead on the card before she continues to speak. "This is what Cynthia had to say about your picnic date. Oh yeah, I almost forgot, she phoned me about you walking in on her friend having sex." Connie pauses to guffaw, "I swear, Schmidt, only you could find yourself in such a situation."

The only way Wyatt can look back at such a day is dubbing it as: The Three C Encounter.

"On a scale of one to ten: What is Wyatt's personality? Cynthia said four." Connie pauses to give a look to Wyatt, which he does not totally understand the meaning of, but he takes it as one of her being impressed of his improvement, even if may only be by one. "On a scale of one to ten, one being you, ten being him, who contributed most to the conversation? She said two. Care to explain yourself, Wyatt?"

"Um," he shuffles in his seat, feeling his cheeks go warm. He'd been fire truck red on the date, he'd never felt like such a prude. "She was like, talking about her piercings and it was really awkward."

"What kind of piercings?" Connie's brother interrupts, grinning. Wyatt registers that the kid looks about fifteen years old, and he doesn't even know his name.

Wyatt looks at Connie quickly before back at the kid. "The special kind." He says, not knowing how much this kid knows already about sex, and it's not going to be Wyatt's duty to give him the birds and bees talk.

Kid rolls his eyes, "I'm sixteen, not eleven. What, was she on about her tit and cl*t?"

Wyatt's lips part, in a complete loss for words. "Um," he coughs, wishing Connie would steer the conversation in another direction. Or just read the next damn question. "What else did she say?" He asks Connie, refusing to entertain the conversation with the kid for much longer.

"On a scale of one to ten, how engaged was Wyatt into the goings on of the date? Did he actively seem interested in anything other than the food? Zero, and a little side comment of you basically inhaled it and then rushed to end the date." Connie rolls her eyes, not at all surprised. Even Wyatt can tell she's not very impressed. "Would you go on another date with Wyatt again? Cynthia said No."

"Final question," Wyatt prompts her, knowing that the review for this one is definitely worse than the one where she kept talking about her potentially gay ex boyfriend.

"How would you describe your date with Wyatt? Cynthia said, 'He's very shy and nervous and he can't even talk about genitals without blushing. I don't like the way he eats. But, he was on time."

"Is that good?"

"No," Connie tells him. "It means you had another bad date."

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