A Fox's Tail

Chapter 1

Roman stares out the window of his grand estate in Northern England. He sighs as he sticks his hands into the pockets of his silk bathrobe. He bends over to pick up his steaming cup of chamomile tea, and sits down on the plush, black leather chair. Suddenly, the doorbell rings. Roman curses under his breath as he stands to open the door. He flings the door open and Sherlock stands there with a sly grin.

"Wipe that God-forsaken grin off your bloody face." Roman snaps at him. "I thought I told you I was done with that life."

"Just because you got your ass wooped by some bloody American sniper doesn't mean you should quit." Sherlock says, still with a grin on his face.

Sherlock invites himself in as he sits in Roman's chair, and kicks his shoes off. Then proceeding to drink Roman's tea as well.

"Sherlock, what the hell are you doing? And that's my tea, you idiotic sociopath." Roman grumbles.

"Shut it you twit. Anyway, I'm here to get your lazy ass for a case. The Queen's Fox tail has been stolen." Sherlock responds.

"Fox tail? What in the bloody hell." Roman says.

"Okay, this is going to be awkward, but the fox tail is the Queen's jewel encrusted dildo that she uses when the king is away." Sherlock reluctantly says.

Roman stands speechless. Bloody hell, he thinks, why does the queen need her dildo back? Why was it stolen in the first place?

"Now Roman, HQ needs your ability to 'pew pew' people if you know what I mean. Roman, damn it, you're a spy you can't just leave that life behind." Sherlock says, breaking Roman's train of thought.

"How much money would I be getting paid exactly?" Roman asks, as he puts his hand to his forehead and returns to the window.

"1,540,800 pounds." Sherlock says loudly for some reason.

Roman turns around, speechless yet again. 2 million dollars? What was the true story with this dildo?

"I suppose I can. Not for you stuck ups, only for the money. Now get out you son of a bitch, I have a murder to plan." Roman says.

Sherlock looks at him, "You idiot, we still need to find the bloody bastard."

Roman meets his gaze saying, "Maybe, but I'm guessing a gun or grenade would be able to kill the guy."

Sherlock rolls his eyes, but Roman sweeps him up and literally throws him out the door, then slamming it. But, Roman reopens the door chucking the shoes out. He winks then slams the door even harder.