Mariana

Unconditional is conditional

There are so much I wish I could say to you but I don't

I've let it stew, I've become immune to your toxins

One thing you taught me your love is conditional

I can't lack, flawless is an attribute not once have you ever set the tone to apologise

Your tongue is a double edged sword but still sharp on both sides

On rear occasions does it not bleed me dry

My body has become numb to your words

I wish I could teach my sister how to do the same, how not to let your words scorch her alive, disintegrate her inside out

There will be the days where she feels like breaking down because you made her feel she's not good enough

But stay strong, how do I tell her the storm has not begun to rumble

Stay strong is a mockery of a part of me that wants to crumble

This is who you are, no one can change you, you say

But I don't want to spend my life tiptoeing around you wondering if one word could unleash your mountain of curses upon me

I grew up alone partly because of you,

If only you knew you would be the last person I ever tell if I was to feel like dying

There have been days like that

I wish it was easy being around you, I wish I could tell you things that kill me inside

But I know sooner or later you will use my weakness against me

You will use my traits to justify why I am so incompetent

I will let you because you are my mother

I will let you because paradise lays beneath your feet

I will let you continue to burn me even if your tongue is like a dagger to my chest