Outside Her Box

Chapter One

Having been isolated from everyone by choice, Heather Miller has taken the decision to wander outside the box that she has built for herself. Step around the walls that she has built around herself. She was a trapped mess. A mess that has been built after years of feeling lonely and alone. Life hasn't treated her well, and so she decided to succumb to her fate and live accordingly. But today marks the fifth year of her parent's death. They have literally left her with nothing but the small townhouse that she was living in. Nothing worked out as she wanted them to. Her future goals were put on pause after that horrific accident, and so she had tried to gather herself in order to proceed with her life, but she still didn't.

After five long years, she wasn't the twenty-one-year-old Heather anymore. A girl that was still seeking comfort in the memories that played in every corner of her childhood house. She sought comfort from all the family portraits and photos scattered on different walls and shelves. She knew something was wrong with her, and so she avoided people. On more than one occasion, and on more than the lonely nights that she has spent in the living room, having a cup of warm tea, she wondered what her life would have been like. Had her parents lived through the accident, had she continued her education and pursued her dream and studied Education, she would have been a different person.

So, on that night in particular. The night that marked the fifth year of her parent's death. She decided to take a step towards a different life. She had enough money in the bank account that her parents had left, the money that they had saved for her education. They had always discussed her dreams with her, they had always asked her about her future, and she had always happily told them that she was going to finish her education and become a homeroom teacher in their neighborhood school. But none of these shared dreams ever took place. It was her fault of course, but never the less, she had to start working on herself.

So, starting today, Heather woke up ready to start her day in a different way. She was ready to step outside and face everything she was hiding from. She was ready to face her fears, and ready to meet all the people she had avoided. She started by taking a hot long bath, and then she skirted her way to the kitchen and prepared herself a mug of hot coffee, grabbed a muffin, and sat herself on the sofa in the living room. She took a sip of her coffee and sighed, closing her eyes as the smell of coffee filled her nostrils. When she was done with her coffee and muffin, she made her way to her room upstairs and walked to her walk-through closet and picked up her black sweatpants, a green baggy hoodie, and her black sneakers. She wanted to feel comfortable, she knew that she had a lot to face.

She did go out occasionally, but her outings included either grocery shopping or the occasional visits to the mall to buy new clothes. It had been a while since she went out and had coffee in a coffee shop, or had a proper lunch or dinner in a restaurant. Hence, her plan for today was to go grab some coffee or a warm drink, sit down in the coffee shop and enjoy her time, she might as well meet someone new. Although the last thought made her a bit skeptical.

Heather grabbed her keys, bag, slipped into her black raincoat, and started walking towards the coffee shop. It was a thirty minutes' walk from her house. As she walked across the familiar streets, she felt her palms sweating despite the cold breeze that was washing over her. Her heart was beating so fast, and her knees felt so light. She was passing through the same phase she always went through whenever she went outside. She always panicked, although there was no logical reason behind that, she knew that by heart, but she didn't know how to deal with it, so she quickened her pace, and started taking deep breathes to calm herself.

Whenever someone passed by, she avoided eye contact, and instead walked with her head bent. She knew she displayed a vulnerable façade, but it made her feel safer. She had a messed-up way of thinking. Years of isolation shaped her up into becoming this sick unhealthy woman. It was all her fault. She knew that. She always did. But she didn't know how to deal with the new her. Or the old her? Taking into consideration that she wanted to change. She shook her head as thought after another flashed before her.