Growing UPart

Chapter 1 - That Time When He was Feeling Lonely

Look at his eyes while singing. Don't look down. He hears that as he was trying hard to concentrate on singing his lines. They were on stage, promoting their single. The host even showing him how to do it with her two fingers pointing between his eyes and and HIS eyes. Those big brown, expressive eyes. Those eyes that can penetrate to the core when he stares, eyes that can see through your soul. Of course, I never did look. Well I did, briefly, and it was enough to send warm feelings to my stomach. I looked up for a millisecond and there it was. Those big brown. Those goddamn big brown, beautiful, soulful eyes. I had to look down and close my eyes so i can concentrate, so i wont forget the lines of the song. For my stability, for my sanity.

He caught himself smiling wistfully. Remembering those chaotic, noisy, happy days. Remembering HIM. He closed his eyes, stretched his arms and arranged his breakfast food while staring at the sea. This is a really nice place, Boracay. The white sand is shiny against the morning sun and it was blinding. Not so much as it will make your eyes watery, but enough to make you squint. "I should get my shades" he muttered to himself, but the room is on the second floor and it takes a lot of effort to walk, especially this early in the morning. Well, 9am is not really, but it is early for him. He never was a morning person, still is not, even in this beautiful beach paradise.

He was squinting, looking at the sea while sipping his coffee when he saw HIM. Well, a shape that looks like him. Well, he is not sure, it has been too long. But those long legs, that lanky lean bod. That head, that smile. That is him. He closed his eyes to clear his vision but as soon as he opened it, he was gone. Or the shape was gone. Was that just an imagination, his mind playing tricks on him? AGAIN. Like that one time he ran after somebody in the airport, only to find out it was a different person. Or that one time he stopped his car to shout at a stranger riding his bike on the other side of the road, thinking it was him. Or that one time, he almost manhandled that stranger in the line at the mall, because his ears looked like his. He sighed, audibly, deep. Yeah, it was just that probably. His mind playing tricks on him, because he missed him. It's been too long and yet he still misses him. He shook his head to help clear the cobwebs in his mind, knowing this will not work as well. Sighing, with that single sad thought, he wiped his mouth and stood to leave. This is not a good way to start his morning, on his vacation. He needs happy thoughts. HAPPY THOUGHTS. And yet in his mind, happy seems very much like his smile.

It's almost been a decade after the success of their second series, SOTUS S. The series, a sequel to their first on screen pairing, was as popular or maybe even more, than their 1st show. They milked it good. For the popularity, the money, the perks. 6 months after the ending, they were still doing fan shows in CHINA, The Phils, Taiwan, even Australia. But finally, after being on the rood for months, and the popularity of the show dwindling down, his management and Singto's decided that for professional longevity, they are breaking up the pairing. This is so they won't be typecast-ed and they can grow their craft. It was a sensible enough idea that they agreed to it. In reality though, it was not at all what they hoped it would be. He had some minor success after that, being paired with other girls, playing different characters. At first he can't quite put his hand on why the pairings were not as successful. His management is saying it maybe because the people are still associating him with Singto. The recall is still strong. He agrees, and there maybe some truth to that but if he were to be completely honest, he thinks it did not work as much because with all these girls, he had to act. He is an actor and should be able to act how warm and giddy these scenes make him, Yes, that is true, but with Singto though, he never had to ham it up. It came naturally, almost embarrassingly natural. Those blushes, those shy smiles, it instantaneously happens when he acted with P'Sing. It maybe the reason for their palpable chemistry. He was 'mildly' attracted with his P'Sing. He did not know when it started and how it happened. It maybe because of how intense they were both immersed with their characters, him specially. It may have happened during the press blitz and fan meets where he will find ways to start the teasing, the sweetness, initially for the fans, but it came as second nature afterwards. Or it may have been present while they were still in the Uni and P'Sing was his hazer. He is not sure when it happened or how it happened, what he was sure of, was how he wasted his chance with his P'Sing. Belatedly only realizing what he felt, and embarrassingly admitting it too late in the game, when all has been gone. When they have moved on with their lives in different directions. When he was no longer in touch with him.

Presently though, he still is in the business, doing what he likes, not so much as a leading man but playing oddball characters. He found that comedy is his calling with his quirky expressions and his cute cute chubby cheeks.

Singto, on the other hand, stopped acting altogether. At first it was because he said he wanted to concentrate on his studies, he after all, shifted majors from Econ to Film and still has two years to get his diploma. After that, he was supposed to star in a major film opposite an up and coming actress. A few days into the shooting and he disappeared. He wanted out, according to some news agency. There was a shit storm of publicity after that, paired with law suits and all, but it died down eventually. They gave him his out and he never appeared in any tv, film or any shows after that. They were in contact after the shows and fan meets ended. They would hang out with the boys. Go to clubs. Even went on a beach get away one time, on a break, 4 months after their last fan meet. But eventually, life got in the way. All the boys got busy after. Singto, with the UNI, him with tv shows. But he still remembers their last "hang out" together. They were pissed drunk, too drunk to function and Singto being the responsible person he is, remained sober and the only "normy" for all of them. He uber-ed each one of the boys home and for some reason, brought him, Krist home. He figured maybe because he was the drunkest of them all. He thinks, maybe he was just being the responsible friend that he is, even after he woke up, in his car, while he was softly caressing his hair. He figures, he was just being P'Singto, his responsible friend, when he was helped out of his clothes and Singto neatly arranged his clean clothes on the side of his bed while he turns his back so he can get dressed. He thinks, he was just being P'Sing when in between sleeping and being awake, he hears him say to him softly, I miss you, and how his life will never be the same without him. He was just being P'Singto when he woke up with medicine on this bedside table and a text saying, "be well, take care of yourself since i won't be there to take care of you as much anymore. haha. :-)". He remembered how It sounded a bit ominous and in hindsight he should have sensed that it will be his last text to him. His last communication before he became busy with his studies, with his life. Before he disappeared from his life.