Dysphoria

Dysphoria. A thing you feel when you don't feel like you are who you really are. Where you feel like your identity is real. Where you feel like everything about who you feel you are is a lie. Where you feel like you can't be who you really are.

I have dysphoria.

I always feel like I'm not truly a boy, and I believe that there is no cure but to be a boy. But since I was born a girl I will never have the cure. Because I am scared.

Scared of coming out as who I am.

Yes. I am a 13 year old boy who is stuck in a girl's body. I don't know why. But I've always been this way. A way that makes me a boy in a girls body. I don't understand why I am born this way. I just am.

I am and forever will be a boy.

"oh it's just a phase" they always say. But guess what this is not just a phase this will never be just a phase. I will always be what I call myself a boy. "oh honey but you will eventually get over it. Just like you do everything else" they say. But no I won't and I never will.

I never will.

But again. I'm just a selfish little girl who doesn't know what I'm talking about, but I do know what I'm talking about I am a boy. My mind always tells me act like a boy. Fit in with the boys. Just boys boys boys. And I'm getting tired of everyone else telling me girl. Girl. Girl. And honestly I need to man up and be the man I am and tell them.

Tell my parents.

They may not accept me for who I am. But guess what if they don't I will leave. Maybe go to New York for a little bit. Or just run away and never come back. Or live with my friend. I don't know yet. But I will find a way for me to be a boy