Mind over matter

Two sides to a story

I am the part of you that you need the most; without me, there would be no thriving for change, you would be weak to defeat, unable to get off the ground and brush yourself off. Without me, you are absolutely useless, without this side of me, the side of you. Without me you wouldn't be able to put on a smile, no one would know the jingle of your laughter; no one would be surrounding you in hopes to be by your side to hear you. Without me, you have nothing because you would never have gotten up from being broken to try to fix yourself. Without me you are nothing. 

Without me, the one who abuses you when you have done something well, brought you down when you'd almost reached the top of the mountain that you had been climbing since you were born. I am the one you need; I will push you to the ground knowing you are too stubborn to stay there. I'm the one that hurts you, the bad guy who in the end saved you from the destiny everyone entwined you in to fit their wants. I am the opposite of you in all ways but one.

You and I are selfish beings wanting to fulfill our needs. I, the one who knows you in and out call you many things but I know what you are.

You are a survivor, you are a crier, you're heartbroken, you are independent and self-sufficient. Yet you need me and without calling me I know when you and desperate for a push. so I give you one. I give you a push to the ground while I whisper truths and lies mixed together leaving you to decipher which are true or false. I tell you the thoughts that the people who claim to support you are thinking.

You cry and scream. You grow silent inside and give the world a smile you do not believe in.

Then, you pick yourself up and brush me off. We're the same but equally different. You hate me but I love you.

I am the negativity in your mind. I'm the poison that seeps into the cracks of your heart. I am the virus that goes and weakens the life of your dreams.

I am you but you are not me.

You are the person people go to when they need to cry. You are the mother of the people who can not go to their mothers. You the leader of the people who want to lead.  

I am sorry I have to break you for you to be stronger but I must. I will love you while destroying your walls so you can build them back stronger.

I will find the cracks in your plans until there are no more. I'm here to protect you from people who want to break you to keep you down.

I hope that one day I die because that is the day you learned to frown me out.