Anxiety Attack(WILL NOT BE CONTINUED)

Chapter 1:The Basics

Today is the day I make the huge decision. I've never been to school before,but my current guardian urges me to take it into consideration. So this year I've been thinking on it.

Currently I am getting taught on the subject I hate the most, Math. Yes a lot of people despise the subject but I've had to do extreme studying on the subject about ten times a day,mostly because school wasn't in my line of sight;so studying every subject with joy was a must if I didn't want to die of total boredom.

My tutor, Mrs Claire; taught me everything I needed to know about school ever since I was almost 6 years old. She is one of the most loyal people in my life considering my mother's death and my father's absents in my life. Being the only child, I don't need much maintenance; so I only need my aunt...who is my main caregiver.

I don't think that I'm attractive,I have a rather slim appearance with visible curves.Yay me for being built like my mother,and I have a habit of staying up late making me look like a zombie; but hey, it keeps my horrible memories of my mother's death at bay.

Singing is my speciality,I sing alone so I can let out the feelings I have towards others, I am a cheetah on the track no joke, and i love food...i mean who doesn't.

Then there are the anxiety attacks.

As a child I had anxiety attacks more times then I'd like to count. Each time my parents argued no one would help calm me down,so I was in my room handling the pain all on my own until someone would walk into my bedroom seeing me struggling to stand up right. I still have anxiety attacks but not as often because my father left basically without warning me nor my mother. That's my life in a nutshell for ya.

As I look at Mrs Claire's white board and jot down notes,I start to think of the possibilities of being in an actual highschool. I am 17 years old and it still sends a shiver down my spine to think of the thought of actually attending a highschool. All of the movies I have watched as a 14 year old have kids being shoved into lockers or students getting flushies by the jocks,or those cheerleaders who act like they are all that. Although it seems a bit over exaggerated I still come to believe it time to time.

"Cassandra!!" Mrs Claire yells.

" I'm up!" I yelp as I hit my head on my desk in the process causing me to wince from the sudden pain in my head.

"You need to get more rest Cassandra,you can't be working like this day and night."She sighs.

" No I'm fine" i reply quickly "I can't start thinking of mom.." I trail off as i remember the thoughts of my mothers blood scattered and smeared on the ground and walls; I bite my lip looking at my papers. I feel a warm hand on my shoulder and I look at Mrs Claire who has a soft smile on her face.

" It will be okay Cassandra,as long as your aunt is here you will be okay,But you have to trust her to be there for you,Alright?" She says.

"Yea" I say silently.

"Good,now take a shower and meet your aunt downstairs, you two have school business to talk about" she smiles sadly as she stands up and walks towards the entrance of my door. "It has been a pleasure to teach you for so many years my little dove" she basically croaks before walking out of my bed room. I could feel tears threatening to fall as she said little dove;the one nickname she gave me as a child...Why? she never said,but I knew this was goodbye. After so many years of her presences, it was going to be hard without her.

I wipe the tears that managed to Cascade down my face before standing up and walking into my bathroom to get ready which too fairly 20mins,which was cause my morning routine consisted of staring at myself in the mirror. I skip down a flight of stairs or two and creep into the kitchen not wanting to be seen.

"Look who has finally left their nest" Aunt Rebecca jokes as she continues to cook pancakes,and eggs; the sausages were already set on the counter ready to eat.

"Haha very funny"I say jokingly walking towards the plate with sausages to grab one only to have my hand slapped away.

" Owwww what was that for" I whine rubbing my hand while sitting down on the kitchen chair to sulk.

"You can wait till the food is ready like everyone else" She replies picking up the plate placing it near the stove so it won't leave her sight.

"Everyone else?" I ask while watching her move the sausages causing me to pout from the distance.

"I have invited some old friends of mine to join use for brunch today,isn't that exciting?" She replies smiling widely. The news made me frown a bit,I mean who wouldn't when you are only comfortable being around two people in your life?

"How many people are you bringing over?" I say nervously.

"Only 6 people,don't worry it will be fun,you'll love it" she says basically chirping with joy.

"Well I guess its worth a try" I say smiling "but if anyone goes into my mother's room then it's a wrap."I say pulling my jet black hair into a neat bun.

"Don't worry about it, no one places a foot in that room.I am still going through the sadness of it all.... That was and still is my sister you know..." She says sadly, flipping another pancake.

"Im sorry that was insensitive of me.. let's not talk about that..." I pause."So is there a plan for after all your friends leave the house?" I ask.

"Yes,we will visit the school you are going to this year,it's going to be so fun!" She says excitingly eating a sausage.

"Can't wait..." I sigh before watching my aunt in complete disbelief "Hey why do you get a sausage?"I exclaim.

"Because I'm the cook" she says smiling sheepishly

"I guess that's only fair" I say as I let out another sigh. We spoke for what seemed like hours until the door rang.