Poker Face || Z. Dempsey

The Beginning of The End

The tears had long since dried on Amelia St. Claire's face. While she wasn't particularly close to Hannah Baker, no one was, she was one of the closer people.

They weren't necessarily friends, but Amelia was Hannah's student guide and the only person who listened to her after the rumors first started.

They found out about Hannah a week ago. All parents got an email that the day would be a half day and all students should go into the gym at the first period bell. Mr. Bolan had been standing on the basketball court with a microphone in his hand and a glare on his face. It was like he was mad at everyone, even though they didn't know what they did.

Like usual, Amelia sat next to Zach, who was with the rest of his group. She was fine with the boys, she didn't particularly like Bryce, but the rest of them were fine. People assumed that Jess and Amelia were friends because they were in the same group, but they weren't that close. Their personalities were too different. They were friendly, but not close.

It was Bryce who noticed that Hannah wasn't there. Why he was looking for her, Amelia didn't know, but fear began bubbling in her stomach.

They quickly learned why Hannah wasn't there. She had killed herself. Mr. Bolan continued to talk, but Amelia didn't hear. She just buried her head in Zach's shoulder and wished she could be anywhere else.

She had cried that day and that night and at the funeral, but unlike most, her tears were sincere. She hadn't stopped thinking about Hannah and sleep became a gift, though rarely given.

Even though it was a week later, Amelia still was having trouble sleeping, so instead she resorted to curling up on her bed, covered in a blanket which she had stolen from Zach. It smelt like him, which in Amelia's mind, meant that it smelt like comfort. Despite everything that was going on between them, Zach would always be safe. She almost scoffed at the idea that she and Zach could forget what he said. It was her idea, an idea so far fetched and ridiculous that she was surprised that it came out of her mouth and even more surprised when they both bought it.

Her phone, which was in her pocket, was out in her hand in a second. She had to talk to someone, and the only person she trusted was Zach. Her mother would have her to the nearest therapist in moments, despite the fact that it was one in the morning. Her father would nod along and fall back to sleep in the middle of the conversation. Her younger sister would shout at her that she didn't care and she wanted to go back to sleep. Zach was the only person who would listen.

"Lia," his voice was low and hoarse with sleep. "What's going on? And at this time?"

"I, uh, I need to talk about Hannah. It's so much."

"Li, can we talk in the morning?" A stone dropped in her stomach. Zach would always listen to her and vice versa whenever they needed to talk. Fear that she screwed her friendship up raced through her. It had been more than that, though. Zach treated her differently since that night, but with even more caution a few days later. She didn't get what prompted the change, but she was nervous that she did something.

"Zachy, what's going on?" A girl's voice said on the other side of the line. Another stone dropped in Amelia's stomach. She knew she shouldn't be angry, she had turned him down, and she knew he had hookups, but it felt different now. It felt like he was betraying her, even though there was nothing to betray.

"Crap," Zach's voice sounded muffled and he mumbled something that she couldn't hear. His voice was clear again, when he said, "Okay, Grandmother, I think you should get some sleep. It's awfully late. I'll talk to you tomorrow." He put emphasis on the last sentence. Amelia swallowed her feelings and put on a fake smile, even though Zach couldn't see it.

"Righto, grandson. Night." She kept her voice steady, which was a skill she'd picked up over the years. She figured that joking was the easiest way to hide her emotions. Things had gotten like this the day after they found out about Hannah's suicide and hadn't gotten better. The two were drifting apart and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

"You should get some sleep," he muttered, and hung up the phone. Amelia sighed and willed herself not to cry again. She had shed too many tears. She curled up into a smaller ball and pulled the blanket tighter around her, seeking its comfort. That was how she slept until her alarm blared the next morning, and although her back ached because of it, she felt calmer. Zach always had that affect on her.

ººº

"Zachary! Justin! Bryce! Stop that right now!" Mrs. Harvin's kindergarten class watched with wide eyes as the three 'bad boys' sprayed the classroom with the bottle of glue, which they grabbed from their teacher's desk when she wasn't looking.

With a grin that displayed the hole where his tooth had fallen out just a day prior, Justin Foley snatched the bottle from Bryce's hand and sprinted out into the hall with Bryce on his heals. Zach stopped when they left the room, but instead of punishing him, Mrs. Harvin just chased the other two boys.

As soon as she was out of the classroom, the kids all started laughing at what had just taken place. One girl stood a little ways away from the rest of the class with a bemused smile on her face.

"Did you think that was funny?" Zach went over to her with a smile on his face. He rubbed the glue on his hands onto the wall next to her. Even his five-year-old eyes could see that there was something different about her. Something special.

"Yeah, but you should have stolen two bottles and split up. Then you could glue more places without getting caught." Zach's eyebrows furrowed while thinking about what she said, and nodded.

"I'm Zach." He stuck out his hand. "Do you want to be friends?"

"Okay." She shook his hand. "I'm Amelia." It was on that day that a great friendship was born. It wasn't until years later that Zach realized that the feelings he felt for the brown haired girl wasn't the normal feelings that one felt for a friend. It wasn't until years after that when he acted on his feelings.

For years he tried to bury his feelings, but he couldn't. It was her quirks which made him love her. How he had to slap her hand away every time she tried to bite her nails, which was a nervous habit. The fact that she was a writer and every time she had an idea, she would drop whatever she was doing to write it down. One time she even dropped him. She was giving him a piggyback ride and one second he was talking some seventh grade homework assignment, and the next he was on the grass in her backyard, and she was racing inside.

It was her imperfections which he loved about her, the fact that she was okay with showing that she was human. How she had faults and flaws, and she had come to terms with them. While he said it jokingly all the time, he wasn't lying when he said that Amelia St. Claire was his role model.