Living with Justin Bieber

Chapter 72

After our hug, he helps me carry my bags upstairs. I ask "One day this week, could I get a key to the house?" Justin asks "Wait? You don't have one?" I shake my head and he replies "Hm... I must still have your key. Sorry I totally forgot." I reply "It's all good though because usually we are together and I don't need a key." He responds "True true." We reach our room and we set my bags down. I thank him for carrying my bags to which he responds with "You don't have to thank me. I'm your boyfriend, so I should help you carry your bags and stuff like that." I nod and reply "Yeah you are my awesome and really amazing boyfriend." He smiles and then I notice his face become very serious. He asks "Are you truly happy with me? Are you sure you aren't mad with fame, paparazzi, or me?" What? Why is he asking this? I answer "You must be crazy to think that I'm unhappy. I am honestly so happy to be with you. You always make my life filled with adventure, love, and joy. Sure, some fans hate on me, but I move on and I remember not to let them get me down. Why would you ask something like that?" He shrugs and looks through his stuff. I say "Justin. I'm here now. You can't avoid me even though, I can tell you want to. I want to help you somehow. So please let me know what I can do to make you feel better." He turns to me with tears falling from his eyes and he mumbles "A... a hug... would be nice." I reply "Of course." I wrap my arms around him and I pull him close. As we hug, I pull him closer and closer making sure to rub his back. Hopefully it's comforting enough to make him happier-ish.

Justin pulls away and exclaims "I guess it's time to tell you. We might want to sit down first." We sit down on the bed and he begins "Basically we first dropped off Grant at his hotel and we were all happy until then. Then, Ryan fell asleep because he was feeling hungover and Chaz started being a b**** to me talking about my life. He kept saying how he wasn't going to leave me alone until I cancelled the tour and he said I don't deserve fame. He believes that you & I's relationship is fake, that we were put together by my manager who is Scooter, and that you are unhappy with me. I don't why he would assume that or why he thinks we are fake. I honestly didn't know what to believe at the moment and I could barely think logically. One thing led to another. When Ryan woke up, we were punching each other in the back of the limo. He pulled him off of me because he knows deep down that I wouldn't start a fight unless provoked. The next day, on Thursday, I thought Chaz would be over the little fight and I planned on saying sorry. When I did say sorry, he said that my apology meant nothing to him and he didn't trust me. I left and I haven't spoken to either of them since. I ran out the meeting that day because I was upset and my mind wasn't focused. It made me too upset and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have ignored you to be completely honest. Now I know all I wanted in the end was for you home. to hug you closer, and to tell you what happened."

I breath through my nose and then I realize tears were falling from my eyes the whole time. Oh my gosh! I wipe my tears and I reply "You know I was serious yesterday when I texted you. If you wanted me home, you should have told me. I was willing to leave my friends to come home. They would understand. I'm here for you always and you should never believe that I am unhappy with you. If you ever question my love for you, all you have to do is ask. I love you and I won't ever stop." He kisses me on the cheek and replies "I love you too. I just didn't want you to leave your friends Clarissa. I would feel bad if I pulled you away from them because I felt bad or whatever. It's not like it really matters at the end of the day." I ask "Why are you acting so hard on yourself all of a sudden? What happened?" He shrugs, looks away, and answers "I just... I wish I could explain it all to you." Oh no he is truly hurting. My poor thing is feeling really really very very bad. His friend literally made him feel bad, but I wonder if there is more that is making him sad. I reply "I know you don't want to talk about it anymore, so consider the subject dropped. I just... I want to make you happy because you're the reason I'm so happy." I wipe my eyes again and he replies "I will be okay truly. Don't worry. Why don't we do something?" I answer "We could go swimming because swimming relaxes you. It could help keep our minds off of life." He nods and replies "Yeah we can just go in the backyard." I nod and I say "Let's get ready then." He half smiles and I kiss him on the cheek.