Fix Me // Jamilton

Chapter 19: Babies and Wanting

"Congratulations! Your little girl is all healthy and good, Mr. Hamilton and Ms. Schuyler." She tells us.

"What'll her name be?" She asks as she hands Angelica the baby. We stare in awe at her beautiful face. I knew what her name would be as soon as I saw her, and I knew Angie agreed.

"Jasmine Elise." She says, smiling. Then she whispers the name to Jasmine.

"My beautiful little Jasmine Elise." She's whispering. God, they're gorgeous. Jasmine blinks her eyes open, and I gasp when I see that they're mine. Tears fill my eyes. She has Angelica's smile and cheekbones, and our noses combined. Over all, she looks just like Angelica. But her eyes! I can hardly contain my happiness.

"Go see Daddy." Angelica smiles and hands me the bundle. I beam down on my little girl. Tears blur my vision and a few slide down my face.

"What's wrong?" Angelica asks. I shake my head.

"She's so perfect. I'm just afraid I'm going to screw it all up." I look up at my girlfriend.

"Babe! You won't mess it up. And if you do, I'll fight you. I can throw a hell of a punch." I laugh and cover Jasmines ears.

"Shhh! Don't swear, there are little ears around!" We laugh again and the midwife brings us the birth certificate. It says:

Name: Jasmine Elise Schuyler-Hamilton
Date of Birth: May 11th, 2017
Time of Birth: 10:36 pm
Hospital: Princeton Hospital, New York City, New York
Father: James Hamilton Jr.
Mother: Angelica Schuyler
Weight: 7 pounds, 4 ounces
Length: 18.8 inches

We look it over, still feeling like we're fling because of Jasmine. Yet another person comes in the room. People, actually.

Eliza, Peggy and Alex come back in. They left after Jasmine was taken away after being born. With them are Herc, Laf, Maria and Thomas. They all sit and stand in various places around the room, and play a game Alex calls "pass the baby", where they each get a certain amount of time with Jasmine before passing her to the closest person next to them.

Everyone's awwing and cooing over Jasmine. It's a little after 1 am now, and we're tired. Angelica's already asleep, the baby in her arms. Our friends and siblings are all leaving to go home. I'm about to fall asleep when Alex leaves the group and stays behind.

"Hey, James, congrats again." He says. I can tell there's something else he wants for talk about.

"What's wrong, Alex?" I ask him.

"I don't know. Something feels weird with my life. I feel too good. Every time good things happen, something horrible brings it crashing down. I just-- be smart. Don't do anything that will ruin what's going on right now. Please. And don't you even dare think about leaving them." He gestures to Angie and Jaz at the end, and I hug him.

"I never plan on leaving. And on the good and bad, I'm here. You have Thomas, you have Eliza, you have me and everyone else. We're here for you. I'll be smarter for you, though, if I can grant you peace of mind." I say. I know he has such bad anxiety and depression and stuff that he has to go to therapy. I feel bad for him. From an older brother standpoint, I feel like I should have the problems, not him. It kills me to see him sad and afraid.

I hug him again and take Jasmine out of Angie's arms. She's fast asleep just like her mother. I hand her off to Alex.

"Your niece." I say, even though I know he already knows it.

"I never thought I would hear those words. It's so... surreal and just... amazing." He chokes out, then kisses her forehead.

"Hey Jazzy. I'm gonna call you that. Your mommy and daddy are so happy because of you, ya know that? And we love you so much. I love you so much." He mutters. I smile at his words and kiss Jasmines nose.