The Inbetween

The curtain moves now in slow motion, with the lights turning on- temporarily blinding me.

'Ugh,' I moan to myself, hardly audible.

'Good morning Miss Fee, I see that you’re feeling a lot better.' Yes, feeling physically stable, not mentally.

'Don't worry, after a traumatic experience it's not uncommon to not speak for a while. Now today were going to be running a few tests to see how your physical conditions are and if you achieve over 80% you will be free to leave tonight.'

I nod again, this time buffed by the pillows.

'Where... Will?' I try and sound as stable as possible but the doctor doesn't look convinced.

'It's okay, just relax.' Well that’s a bit hard to do considering I don't know anything! 'You will be staying with your family...'

Not even a name comes to mind.

'Miss Fee, I have some bad news.' Oh god. 'Your car completely totaled, causing it to spin many times- your father went through the front windscreen- we tried everything we could... I'm so sorry.'

My dad, he's gone. He's gone and I don't even know this name.

'Amaya...' He tries to grab my hand.

'No!' I scream, not knowing how to take it, 'Get... off... me! Get... out... now.'

How are you supposed to react in a situation like this? I can't remember what he looked like or even remember his name! What kind of a daughter am I?

'I think I'll leave you be then, just rest up and Nurse Fleur will be back in a second with your breakfast.'

The silence of my voice indicates him to leave, with a face like he's just patted a dog.

'I'm so sorry Amaya, I really am,' he mutters, just as he draws the curtain and silence returns.

As soon as it closes I take off my many layers of sheets (which is surprisingly difficult) and position myself so that I can see more than 15 inches of space. Gravity, I have decided, is not a friend of mine. It doesn't take me long to locate and put on a bathrobe. I get up and start to walk my first steps. One at a time my feet move, as if I never were a toddler before, until I finally reach the mirror.

Ew!

As expected, there are dismal results. My brown hair that once flowed smoothly in waves to my shoulders now lies in one tangled knot at the top of my head, secured by a precarious hair tie that looks like it is going to snap any minute. Still as ever, the glare of my eyes haunts me. They’re as grey dark as fog on a winter’s night. It’s actually kind of depressing. As my last year of high school approaches, looks don't concern me, but everyone else uses them as a basis point to avoid glances and conversation with me. Puberty treated me well though, never leaving me with a single pimple or imperfection on my face.

I guess you can’t have the full package.

With one final glance I hear the roar of the breakfast cart coming down the hall. I am usually told to ignore because I haven't been to able to eat, but today is the day. I make my way with lightning speed (which is more like a walk) to one of visitors’ chairs, and instantaneously grab the first card that slips into my hand.

'I'm back,' says Fleur, my eyes wondering to the bright wet patch on her stomach.

'Mr. Jamison doesn't like skim milk...'

I try and hold my mouth from laughing because she looks hilarious, but she's probably doing the same for my hairdo and me.

'So, you up for breakfast today? I can see you've made it... Well, a few meters.' Fleur smiles politely and crouches down to pick up a tray on the lower shelf of the cart. 'Here, its just some cereal and toast but...'

She bends down again, then rushing to my side and whispering, 'Don't tell anyone about this, it will just be our little secret.' And she slips a freshly baked muffin onto my tray.

'Thank you,' I try and get out after my tantrum at the doctor. Rats, he's going to make me stay another day because of that isn't he? Damn...

'When you finish that just leave it on the table. I'll be packing your stuff up whilst your in testing, so I'll leave it with the front desk. Dr. O'Neil will be here at nine, or has he already been?' I just shake my head, but if she knows everything, she already knows the news that he told me.

'Fleur?' I question as she walks towards the curtain with the cart, 'Will I be safe?'

She seems puzzled by my question, as if it where something she had reiterated a hundred times.

'Yes,' she replies, but almost hesitantly as she puts on a smile and shuts the curtain.

The next few hours are filed with waiting, tests and sweat. First the doctor comes at nine, after half an hour of silence, and wheels me to the testing room. I have to fill out a series of papers about stuff I remember, which seems to just be my name and age. I guess that means I pretty much failed that test. O'Neil says that I will be filled in on the other details when I get home- wherever that is.

Next I am placed onto a treadmill, God help me, on which I run until I get to 10m/hour and die on the floor. So as of then I was sentencing myself to another week in hospital. There was only one other test that could let me go, the use of my powers of persuasion. Waiting in the 'official' waiting room of the hospital, I long for my results. The man himself walks out of a wooden door carrying a brightly colored pink suitcase.

'You're free to go Miss Fee.'

'What? There must be some mistake...' I say in confusion. 'My test results sucked big time.'

O'Neil seems taken aback by this, but just laughs. 'I think you will be fine, you've waited enough time anyway.'

Why is this man being so nice to me? Well, I guess if he's not he doesn't receive a pay check, but just the way that smile purses on his lips scares me a bit.

'I'm sorry how I walked out on you before. It’s normal to act out after hearing... well, uh... news like that.'

'That’s okay, thank you, for… You know…Everything today,' I mumble as he hands me a very light suitcase. Looks like I don't own much.

'So, where am I suppose to go?' Not really knowing what I'm doing, I tilt my head like a puppy.

O’Neil laughs. 'Just step outside, there’s a yellow cab waiting for you. The driver knows where to go.'

'Thank you, again,’ I say, not knowing if he wants a handshake.

'You’re welcome, goodbye.'

'Bye.'

As I step out of those double glass doors, I know there is no turning back. This is real life, where sirens roar, cars beep and birds call. Some could argue that silence can't hurt you, but it has turned my life into a game