Celebrity parody

I have a dream...

I woke up with sewage all of me,but by now am used to it. Similar to a personal alarm. Situations like this is just a typical day for me but as a homeless person like myself, I can only dream to wake up just like you.

Yes I am talking to you. So listen yeah.. I have a dream y'all... to become just like Beyoncè, you get me. How wonderful would life be, wiping your ass with cash and living in a 1.5 million dollar house. The breeze going through my hair while am relaxing in my own private resort. aaaaah wonderful.

As always something had to come between me and my dreams but this time wasn't the usual stench of the bins but a welcoming from a little friend.. the bird! I had white gooey poop all over my freshly washed hair. sighing I headed to the river to get that bird shit out of my hair.

I crashed into something that held me still. Looking up I see my skinny fragile DRAKE! He is my friend well my only friend in that case and my food bank because of his lovely job as a bin man whoopey!

"Heyyy Rihanna! Oh dont think you had a great morning today" laughing hysterically.

"Ha.ha.ha" I say with a straight face. "morning to you too. Well what did you get me today ey!" Praying inside that it is not cat food like the past week.

"Well its you're lucky day love, I have some fancy gourmet speciality for yooouu" shreaking like a little girl. Well if you have not got it by now drake is my personal girl mate. Yes may I state clearly he IS gaay. Waaaay-Yo.

I dashed towards him as my saliva started circulating in my mouth! "What did you get meee?" Trying to poke my head into the bins searching for the morning treasure! All I find is some junk nothing delicious catching my eye.

"Okay, wait a minute I have to get it out. I know you too well to know that you are not a patient person so I hid it underneath all that junk! "Drake said. Ah that's why I can't see anything... sneaky shit. "Tadaaa" Drake pulls out a large box. Don't tell me it's what I think it is. Oh shit it is. PIZZZAAA. Forget the part that it's 5 days old but still it's PIZZAA. Now tell me who doesn't like Pizza, I sure do.

After stuffing myself with pizza,well most of the pizza leaving drake with 1 slice muah-ha-ha. He deserved it for hidding it in the first place!

Oh yeah today is the day I promise to go out and start a job. Thanks to drake for getting me appropriate clothes so I don't scare off people 'Why are people soo judgmental aahg'. Hopefully landing myself in job with food! That's all I care.