My Unfaithful Wife (Under Revision)

Unfaithful : 13 (Revised)

Ash

Tila ako nabuhusan ng malamig na tubig at tila napapasong humiwalay kay Timothy. My eyes went straight into him na ngayon ay nakatitig na sa akin ng may mapupungay na mga mata. It's like everything went silent that I can only hear my beating heart. My mind went blank. Ang plano kong pag-alis sa kaniyang harapan ay nawala ng tila bula at napalitan ito ng kagustuhang manatili na lamang sa kaniyang harapan at titigan ang malalalim nitong mga mata.

It's like a dark sea that hides everything he is. A dark sea no one dares to stare except for me. Nakakalunod ang bawat titig nito sa akin, naninikip ang dibdib ko't hindi makahinga. I always wonder why I keep on drowning in his eyes. Kung bakit sa tuwing tumititig ako dito ay nalulunod ako. At dahil doon ay natakot ako. Now I know why.

This reaction I feel because of him is so much different from what Marcus made me feel. This one is so intense, that it is making me damn crazy. Making me hyperventilate, making my heart beat go crazy.

Marcus can't do that. Sure I loved him, but that was a comfortable love. Isang pagmamahal na minahal mo lamang dahil sa seguridad na ibinibigay nito. I loved the way his love made me comfortable...na hindi ko na naisip kung pagmamahal pa ba ang tawag doon kung ang gusto ko lang naman ay ang pakiramdam na dinudulot nito sa akin.

Looking at the man in front of me made me realize everything.

I was so scared on drowning in his eyes, I was so afraid to indulge the feeling it is giving off to me that I didn't even notice that I'm already falling.

Can I?

Can I still resurface from drowning? Can I still cease the fire that's starting to burn inside of me because of him? Is there even any escape from this growing madness?

And before I could think of anything else. He already pulled me towards him, crashing his lips unto mine again that made it impossible for me to think of anything else other than his soft lips brushing on my lips.

Tila ba tinangay na ng hangin ang natitira ko pang huwisyo dahilan ng pag bibigay ng katawan ko sa mga halik na ibinibigay nito. My lips started to mimic his lip's movement. Ang mga kamay ko ay unti-unting gumapang papunta sa batok nito. I clinged on him like a thirsty woman. His hands snaked around my waist pulling me closer to him, closer, to deepen the kiss.

Hindi ko na alam kung ano pa ang ikinikilos ko. It's as if everything ceased to exist that I can only think of how his lips devoured mine. Kung paanong ang tanging naririnig ko na lamang ay ang pag tambol ng isang puso sa aking sistema. Kung paanong nawawalan ako ng lakas sa bawat hagod ng malalambot niyang labi sa aking mga labi. Kung paanong sa bawat segundo ay unti-unti akong natutunaw sa kaniyang mga bisig.

Hindi ko na maisip kung tama pa ba itong ginagawa ko? Hindi ko na maisip kung totoo pa ba itong nararamdaman ko. It's like everything seems so confusing. If I am falling for Timothy then why can Marcus frustrate me? If I'm feeling this way towards Timothy then why can Marcus bring me pain?

Guilt crept in my heart. Dahil doon ay agad akong natauhan. No... this is not right. Kissing him means giving him false hope! He do love me but what about me? I don't love him!-I mean, I am confused sa kung ano man ang nararamdaman ko sa kaniya!

If I ever do love him already then Marcus shouldn't affect me like this!

I pulled away. Dumiretso ang mga mata ko sa kaniya. His eyes looks so drowsy, na para itong inaantok habang nakatingin sa akin. My hands flew to my lips.

I took a step back, doon na nag bago ang ekspresyon sa kaniyang mga mata. Nagulat ito sa una, na di naman nag tagal ang nananantya na ang bawat titig niya. Na tila ba gusto niya akong basahin, gusto niyang malaman kung anong iniisip ko, kung anong intensyon ko.