Mindtrap

That Feeling

Lance had tried to bond with the black lion. He wanted nothing more than the most powerful of the lions to accept him, but it just didn't want him; it wanted Keith, but Keith didn't want the black lion. Keith's only concern was getting Shiro back.

Lance wanted their leader back just as much as any of the others, but the temptation was almost too great to dismiss. Lance craved the black lion; he desired the promise of respect, of validation, something only the black lion could provide.

However, when all was said and done, perhaps he would have been fine staying with good 'ole Blue. But he was denied both. Instead, he got Red: Keith's lion.

Don't get him wrong. Red was nothing to sneeze at. As one of the fastest and most powerful of all the lions, it was perhaps even a step up from blue, but Lance couldn't help noticing that feeling. The feeling that he should be grateful; he was being handed new opportunities, moving on to bigger and better things. But behind that twisted sense of pride was the knowledge that every time it happened, he was only a placeholder, moving up to fill a spot where someone more impressive than him had left it empty.

It was the same feeling that he had felt when he had become a fighter pilot at the expense of Keith, who had flunked out.

Apparently it wouldn't be the last time.

Any other person would probably have grown to hate that person; the person that manages to stay ahead of you at every turn, leaving you in their tracks to pick up the broken scraps of legacy that they left behind. Knowing that, however hard you try, you'll always be second to someone.

You'd think that Lance would have grown to hate Keith, but he didn't.

If anything, Lance had slowly began to appreciate Keith, but not as a friend; it was something stronger.

It was rare that Keith even talked to Lance, unless it was to discuss battle plans or to practice combat. Lance had no reason to believe that Keith would ever feel the same way that Lance felt.

Lance had realized a long time ago that he felt a different way about Keith. He knew it once he saw the look on Keith's face when Shiro disappeared, and he never wanted him to feel like that again.

It was a different kind of love, but not the beautiful lovey-dovey love that grows over time between two people that care deeply about one another.

It was an one-sided, as far as Lance knew, and an obsessive, unhealthy kind of love.

But Lance rarely thought about this. There was bigger fish to fry.

Lotor and his generals were a force to be reckoned with; not only did they manage to undo Voltron's work on almost every liberated planet, but they still managed to come after the paladins in ways that they never anticipated. It was terrifying, but defenders of the universe had no time to be afraid.

Even though there was danger and the face of death around every corner, it was simple. That was, until everything changed.

Until Lance had heard Keith's hoarse, quiet voice come through his helmet, barely audible.

"We found him."

Shiro was back; a wreck at first, remembering almost nothing from his time in the clutches of the Galra, nor from his escape.

The Shiro that appeared on the bridge seemed to be a new man, although at first Lance had some questions about his choice in style, he let it go.

Keith was happy, and if Keith was happy, Lance was happy too. Just seeing Keith's expression when they pulled Shiro's pod into the launch bay, Lance practically lit up as soon as he saw Shiro's face.

He had volunteered to help Keith bring Shiro to the nearest healing pod. They hadn't spoken a word on the walk down.

But now Lance found himself in a bit of a predicament; with Shiro back, Lance was sure that he would take back his rightful place in the black lion.

Then, Keith would return to Red.

Lance had held his place, and now it was time to give it up. Next, he would go where he was needed.

Except, this time, he wasn't sure that he was needed.

Allura was a fantastic pilot. Over the course of one battle, she had managed to unlock two of the blue lion's abilities, both of which had taken Lance months and dozens of battles to utilize.

Lance was a pilot. He wasn't an engineer, like Hunk or Coran, or a computer genius, like Pidge. He wasn't a combat expert like Keith or Shiro.

If the others decided to permanently assign Allura to the blue lion...

He would be a pilot with nothing to pilot; like a bird without wings.

Not yet, you're not, he kept telling himself.

He hated waiting. He needed an answer; an honest answer.

There was only one person on this ship who would give one to him.