Aurora | H.S.

18. sun and sea

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For as long as I can remember the sun has always been a remedy. During the summer, it's what keeps the flowers alive—along with the occasional rain shower—but without the sun, the world would look a lot more depressing. It hits my face with little mercy, causing my skin to tingle and grow tanner by the hour. Before we left the apartment, I made sure Eliana was wearing as much sunblock as possible, having practically smothered her in it until she began to whimper and cry. I even put on her sunhat, figuring it couldn't do any harm.

She sits on the beach blanket, playing with some sand in her hand while I stare out at the ocean. Harry's laid down beside her, propping his head up with his arm as he then playfully buries her feet into the warm sand. She giggles, wiggling her toes until they rise up from the sand.

A few minutes later, as my focus continues on the horizon, I feel his warmth beside me. He pulls his knees up to match my posture. From the corner of my eye I can see him looking over at me. "What are you thinking about?" he asks.

"Nothing much," I admit, shrugging.

"I don't believe that," he whispers.

I smile weakly at him before looking away. It's not that I don't want to tell him what I'm thinking, it's more like I don't know how. The thing with Harry though, is that he seems to decipher my words and moods before even I can. That's another thing I love about him, how perspective he is when it comes to me. Not many people are, especially because I find myself more perspective of everyone else.

"In high school, I used to always come here," I reveal to him, noticing Eliana shoving her hands into the sand and pulling them out to stare at the particles on her skin. "I would spend hours just watching the horizon. It was the perfect place to think."

"What about now?" he questions. "Where's your favorite place to think?"

I ponder the question for a moment, having to think a little too hard for my liking. I wish the answer was easy, but it's not. Ever since I've become a mom I haven't had much time alone. The most time alone was when I would shower in the middle of the night when Eliana had finally fell asleep. Sometimes I found time at the flower shop when there were no customers and mom or Lucile were out. "Home, probably."

"Mommy." Eliana waddles her way over to us, leaning against me as she shows me a tiny shell in the palm of her hand. I smile, gently running my finger over the smooth surface.

"It's as seashell," I tell her.

Her brows furrow, "sea-swell."

"No, baby, sea-sh­ell." Eliana nods, heading back to her spot with her hat a little lopsided. Harry chuckles, his cheeks and nose red from the sun. "Have you put on sunblock today, mister?"

His laughter stop and her frowns, "I...forgot?"

I gasp, grabbing the tube of sunscreen out of my beach bag. I'm about to hand it to him, but I figure that doing it myself would be enjoyable for both of us. With a glob of lotion on my hand, I start with his back, massaging it in on his shoulders and down his spine—making sure not to forget about his neck. When I move in front of him, he holds my waist and stares up at me. "Close your eyes," I giggle.

"But I won't be able to see your pretty face," he hums. I laugh, rolling my eyes playfully as he flutters his jaded eyes closed. I gently and cautious put some sunscreen on his cheeks, nose and forehead before wiping some down his neck. As my hands find his chest, his eyes open. I flush, hoping he doesn't see the blush rising on my own cheeks now. "Hi, pretty."

"Hi," I whisper, dragging my hands up and down his chest. I duck down and press my lips to his, taking a shaky breath as I pull back, feeling heavy with lust. "You'll have to reapply in an hour."

He smirks, nodding. "Whatever you say, petal."

Eliana has managed to take of her sundress, begging to go into the water. I eventually gave in, carrying her down to the shoreline. With each step into the small waves, she clapped excitedly. Her smile illuminated brighter than a thousand suns. As I dunk her down into the water, it reaches just above her knees. Her giggles seem to get louder. I lift her up and then dunk her back down again, laughing as she begs for more. With Eliana in my arms, I turn around and look back at the blanket. The beach isn't super crowded today, so it's not hard to find Harry. He waves, his smile wide and bright. Eliana waves back first and my heart lurches.

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On the walk home, Harry holds Eliana while I hold the heavy beach bag. He talks to the two-and-a-half-year-old about random things, but mostly listens to her as she babbles on about the sun and sea. Inside, it doesn't take her long to fall asleep on the couch, still wearing her (now dry) bathing suit and dress.

In the kitchen, Harry corners me against the counter, his hands on my waist and his lips attached to my neck. I giggle as he nibbles at the skin, whispering naughty words into my ear. "We can't be doing this," I whine playfully, pouting.

"She's asleep," he points out. I press my hands to his chest, the thin fabric separating my touch from his skin. He watches my face as I focus on the outline of the swallows on his chest underneath his t-shirt, they're just barely noticeable. "There's, uh, something I actually want to talk to you about," he mentions suddenly.

I look up at him, nodding. "Okay."

There's hesitation in his body language now, the way he pulls back a little, running his hand through his hair. "So, I actually need to leave on Tuesday—back to the city, just for a few days. It's mostly just to get things sorted for that job interview I told you about. . ."

For a solid minute his lips move but I don't hear anything but my beating heart. It beats so hard against my chest I think I'm either having a heart attack, or it's trying to depart from my body. It's been through enough, but here's more.

Disappointment seeps into my veins. I forgot about the job interview, only now remembering that he mentioned it when we first met.

"Did you hear anything I just said to you?" he asks suddenly. My senses are back, but still dazed. I look up at him, realizing I had been staring off into his chest for some time. He steps closer, but I take a small step back, running into the edge of the marble countertop. "It's a few days. I'll be back, angel."

I don't know why, but I think we both know that there is nothing permanent about this. I've always known, in the back of my head and in the pit of my stomach, that he'd walk away. Austin did, so what makes Harry any different? Just because I've experienced a new level of trust and love with a man doesn't mean they won't hurt me. Harry broke down the walls I put up after getting abandoned by a man who had no interest in loving me or his daughter.

But what if I'm different? What if by chance there's still hope for us? Hope that Harry will come back and he will be mine and I'll be his. I'd like to let that hope linger, but sadly I've grown to be a pessimist at heart. A weak smile pulls on my lips as I look up at him, telling him that I'll be here, waiting for him to come back.

And so the countdown begins.

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Hello lovelies! Hope you enjoyed this chapter. I will be updating a lot more now that there are only eight or so chapters left before the epilogue. So, expect another chapter in a few days!

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